I'm OK You're OK

OK?

Paraphrasing something I think Larry David said, every human interaction is rife with potential peril. I appreciate that sentiment now more than ever.

While I do my best to avoid drama, it happens. Sometimes it's for the best and shouldn't be avoided. Doesn't make it any easier. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did, but I can't change it now. I'm sure I could have handled things better, but I can only be myself and do the best I can.

It's been a very difficult week trying to understand what happened and how something that seemed fairly minor became a friendship-ending event. While I take full responsibility for my part in all of it, the other person is convinced that all the blame lies with me.

Switching places for a moment, I can understand the highly emotional reaction that makes me the antichrist, but to accept no responsibility? So much was said by both of us, that makes no sense whatsoever.

What's interesting about having a falling out with someone is what they might try to project onto you, showing you all the things they're really upset about with themselves. The other thing that's interesting is that no matter what you think you know about someone, you only see what they let you see. There's an ocean of shit you can never know until you get into a difficult spot and they reveal things that show you a totally different picture.

What's worse than losing a friend is realizing whatever friendship you thought you had wasn't strong enough to overcome a problem. I don't think you can call anyone a true friend until you've weathered some shit together and found a way to work through it.

It must have been a huge shock to realize I'm not all about cracking jokes and being silly. That's life. It's not all Happy Fun Ball all the time. Sometimes things get sticky and serious. I'm sure it was a crappy way to learn more about me and that sucks.

Overall, it's been a shitty couple of weeks but now it's behind me. Seems better to find out early if someone is too emotionally damaged to meet you halfway than lose a ton of time and energy trying to make the impossible work.

What I'm left with is the reminder to stay true to yourself in all things and no matter what anyone else says, trust yourself and your vision. Onward.

Mehtag

Before we moved back to Cali, we sold our little Danby dishwasher to our neighbor and bought a full-sized Maytag portable dishwasher when we got back. I was all excited - a full-sized magic cleaning box... and a Maytag! They're great, right? Not so much.

There aren't a ton of options for portable dishwashers but I was happy to find a Maytag in our price range, so I bought it. It wasn't the most expensive model, but it wasn't the very cheapest - or at least I didn't think it was.

We definitely ended up with the budget model. I think it was made from recycled 2-liter pepsi bottles. It pretty much works like you'd imagine a mostly plastic, lightweight dishwasher would. It sterilizes the food/food film on the plates/glasses/silverware, but it doesn't necessarily clean anything. I'm just happy it hasn't leaked, and it does provide another surface for clutter accumulation - always handy.

Now I miss the Danby. That thing worked like a champ. But as long as I pre-clean the dishes for Mehtag, it works great.

Lamesurance

[Graphic courtesy of Ms. Crafty - thank you! I'd explain what it means, but it's a long story. A select few will understand its meaning in relation to this post. For the rest, just enjoy the cute, lumbering blue whale that can't seem to not bash itself in the head repeatedly.]

So, I know my story is nothing compared to what many people are dealing with, but I thought it was worth mentioning as another example of how "regular folks" are affected by the lack of affordable coverage for basic care.

Some would say I'm far from regular, but I disagree. I get lots of fiber.

When we got back from Canaduh I signed up for a basic plan from a provider, the name of which rhymes with Flue Yield of Palifornia. Seemed like a good plan that would let me see a doctor if I needed to but not cost a fortune every month. My premium is about $135/month and the deductible is $2,900 per year.

I saw the Caribbean Gyno for an annual exam and had no co-pay. That was cool. The doc wrote me two referrals, one for a mammogram (haven't had one in three years) and an ultrasound to look at one of my ovaries, the one that explodes like a super nova every few months.

She was very helpful, explaining when to schedule the ultrasound during my cycle to ensure the best results and said I could likely get both tests scheduled on the same day. I went away happy to have such a proactive doctor helping me out with my Lady Parts.

Later that week I got everything scheduled - same day, perfectly timed - and felt great about getting that taken care of. Neither test is pleasant, but I was actually excited to find out what might be going on with the ovary. If that thing blows up again, I'm going to take it out myself.

The day before my appointments I got a cryptic phone message from someone at USCF. I called back the next morning and spoke to a friendly guy who explained to me that because my deductible is $2,900, they'd be charging me $700 for the mammogram and $1,500 for the ultrasound.

I thanked him very much for the information and told him I'd be canceling my appointments for the day. I forgot about that big ol' deductible... When my annual exam was covered, I guess I didn't realize the tests the doctor had ordered wouldn't be. Actually, I don't know if my annual exam IS covered... I might get a bill for that at some point.

If I were working full-time or more consistently, I could probably afford $2,200 for standard tests or just buy a better plan that covers them.

The silly thing is, if there is something wrong that requires major care down the road, the insurance company will likely pay out way more $$ than they would if the problem was found (and fixed) much earlier. i.e., If they covered the tests I need now, they'd probably save money in the long run.

But hey, as someone recently said, health insurance is not a right - you get what you can afford. If all I can afford is a plan that prevents bankruptcy, then that's what I get. But I'm paying $135/month, and all that buys me is one annual doctor's appointment and $10 generic drugs? Really?

I would love to see health insurance reform that makes the entire process completely transparent. I want price lists posted on doctors' websites like you'd see for auto mechanics. I would love to see independent audits that keep everyone honest.

The goal now is to work harder at making good money so I can afford the kind of coverage I want. The American way, right? While I'm busting my ass to afford a better plan, Flue Yield of Palifornia will clear another 8 Billion - BILLION - dollars (or more) this year. Billion with a B.

The Local Rag

We get a couple of free local papers chucked onto our stoop every week. They're the perfect size for lining Henry's cage and occasionally have an interesting article or two, usually about bear maulings or gang violence. Sometimes gangs of violent bears.

I recently found a crossword puzzle in one of them. Always a sucker for a crossword, I started ripping out those pages before using the rest for cage liner.

Imagine my disappointment when working one of these puzzles yesterday I found clues such as:
4. Not good. Answer: "bad" I shit you not.
35. Not high. Yup. Answer: "low" Still not shitting you.

Even worse:
50. P_____: bird resting place. You're going to be angry - you will. Answer: "erch" What. The. Fuck.
24. Ca_____: Waterfall. Answer: "scade" Scade? Let's go scading!
58. ___bo: Latin dance. Answer: "mam" At this point I'm ready to jab my pen into my neck.

Still worse:
64. Electromagnetic force. Now, this one seems like a challenge - what might this force be? I'm going to have to look this up in my crossword dictionary, or maybe even the interweb... No. No need. Answer: "EMF" What the WHAT?

Yet more worser:
16. Soluble ribonucleic acid. Answer: "SRNA"
20. Liquified natural gas. Answer: "LNG"
14. Superhigh frequency. Answer: "SHF"

Then they throw in this:
18. Lips. Answer: "labia" This seems wrong. I don't want labia in my crossword.

Like a bad movie, I'm going to stick with it to see what amazing clues await me in future puzzles. [sigh.]