BC Living - My New Show

Just found a show on TV, Vancouver Living - an entertainment news show full of helpful information about enjoying the Vancouver lifestyle.

I didn't watch the show but saw the teaser for an upcoming segment, "Learn How to Get a Good Workout Without Increasing Your Carbon Footprint."

They showed a lady on cross-country rollerskis out in the rain on a wet, soggy path, and that just looked so sad. It made me think of having my own show full of helpful hints about enjoying the British Columbia lifestyle.

• Learn How to Enjoy Being Damp
• Learn How to Embrace Bone-chilling cold
• Learn How to Eat Your Body Weight in Potatoes
• Learn How to Put on Your Winter Weight in Three Days
• Learn How to Wear Four Sets of Clothes at Once
• Learn How to Train Your Cats to Sleep On You
• Learn How to Adopt Enough Cats to Make a Living Cat Blanket
• Learn How to Heat Your Feet Using Microwaveable Socks
• Learn How to Find Ways to Not Leave the House Until Spring
• Learn How to Make Every Meal a Soup Smorgasbord
  
• Learn How to Wear an Electric Blanket - Everywhere
• Learn How to Withstand 300-degree Showers
• Learn How to Turn a Down Blanket Into a Sassy Dress
• Learn How to Properly Chop Furniture for the Fireplace
• Learn How to Hang Mirrors Around the House to Maximize Those 15 Minutes of Sunlight On Days When it Might Be Sunny

I'm sure I'll think of other important segment ideas. If you're a producer at a TV station nearby, give me a call. I know there's an enthusiastic audience for my show.

I... am... CoLd!

Jebus crimony, it's friggin cold! I could NOT live in Michigan. Or Chicago. Not unless I was independently wealthy and could run the furnace at full gallop all winter long.

I'm trying to conserve natural gas, but as of today, that dream is dead. I'm taking showers to try to warm up. What a sissy, eh? I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm dreaming of a fleece jumpsuit lined with micro fleece with a fleecy outer later with a fleece top coat, with a fleece hat, scarf, gloves, and booties.

Part of the problem is this beautiful old house doesn't have central heating. It has attic insulation, thankfully, but that only does so much. The front room where the floor heater and fireplace are stays fairly comfortable. But back in my office, I think I can see my breath. I just turned the oven on to warm up the kitchen, all hillbilly style, as David likes to tell me.

Tonight we're going to burn the Sunday NY Times I haven't read like it's a big log of wood. And if we run out of wood, the furniture is next.


This was Seattle's forecast last week, but it feels like ours.

I FORGOT MY COAT!!!

Here I am, in lovely, cold Seattle, and I forgot my fucking coat. I forgot my coat. I forgot it. My coat.

It's at home, on the hook, where I thought I could easily grab on the way out of the house.

But NO. I was distracted and ran out of the house with out it. I realized it when I got out of the car at the airport. I FORGOT MY COAT!

It's cold already - in the 40s during the day - and it's going to get colder. All I have with me are fleece pullovers, scarves, gloves and a knit cap.

Tonight? COAT SHOPPING.
Dammit.