George Lucas Sucks ASS

It shouldn't come as a big surprise, from the man who brought us the asinine Jar Jar Binks, that George would start a game company then put a bunch of no-talent ass clowns in charge of it.

After four months abroad working to successfully get a project back on track, a project that was derailed by ongoing miscommunication by the exec producers, David was laid off today. Along with about 99 other people. See Kotaku.com for more info.

He just returned last Friday and today they told him Thanks so much, Fuck Off. Though strangely, his boss called this morning to tell him that there would be a round of layoffs but claimed not to know if he would be included.

Not even an hour later someone from HR called to tell him that he was, in fact, laid off. And just two weeks after he received a glowing review with high praise for all his great work in the UK.

Later on we learned that one of David's teammates, an annoying, undermining piece of shit I'll call James, because that's his name, quit the company a week ago.

Jimmy-boy is a good buddy of the VP who reportedly put together the list of those to be laid off, so it would seem that the POS heard the news of what was coming and left before the clear cutting began.

Jimmy is also a good buddy of David's boss, the one who called this morning claiming not to know anything. Maybe he was trying to appear unaware of what was about to happen, when he was probably very aware and just such a self-serving piece-of-shit weasel he thought he could somehow appear innocent in the matter.

If it's always going to come down to who's willing to blow the most people to get ahead, why bother working to produce a quality product?

Why stand up for doing the right thing or have any integrity at all when all that really matters is how many knee pads you can wear out in the least amount of time? David's boss must have bone bruises on his knee caps by now.

You know what you end up with when you run a company like this? Just more no-talent ass clowns who only care about their own no-talent asses, who couldn't care less about doing the right thing by the project or the company.

Obviously I'm angry, but more so disappointed. We were both so excited when this opportunity came along, and David loved the work he was doing, despite the annoying hiccups along the way.

LucasArts used to have some cache in the industry, a place someone would be proud to put on their resume. Now they're just like any other ass-fucking corporation that couldn't care less about the people they hire to make them successful.

Fuck you, George, and your lame ass executives. I'm glad I booked a job instead of going to see your new movie and we're sure as shit not going to go see it now.

Update 6/11: Rumor has it a deal is in the works between LucasFarts and EA. Another game was just canceled, sending the developer into its own tailspin after staffing up to meet the redonkulous deadlines Lucas demanded.

Spielberg recently partnered with EA to ship something (I don't even know what it was it was so wildly successful) and he probably told Georgie to stop wasting money on his on IPs and just hand it all off to EA.

Those remaining report that it's just a matter of time before everyone is gone and Lucas is nothing more than a licensing company that works on one or two projects as a boutique shop. David's feeling like it was probably a good thing to get out when he did.

Lucas Wolves

Last night I dreamt that we went to a big LucasArts shindig - a fancy, dress-up thing - in a huge, open air amphitheater. Kinda like Shoreline, but much bigger, and there was no stage or chairs - the whole thing was a big, grassy, stepped amphitheater.

We were down in the main area milling around with thousands of other people when I decided I needed to go find my shoes. I'd lost my strappy slingback heels and I was mad.

In my little black dress I ran up the wide, grassy steps, crowded with people on either side of the aisle, and at the top, found a bunch of animals all curled up, asleep in a heap. Stray cats in one heap, and I think there were tigers in another.

I passed them on my way to wherever I thought my shoes might be and suddenly encountered a pack of wolves. There were still a few people wandering about up there, but they were off in the distance.

Right in front of me stood a large, snarling, growling wolf. I started flipping out and screaming for my friend's sister, Suzie. SUZIE! SUZIE! I haven't seen Suzie in about a year, but apparently she's a wolf expert and only person you want in such a situation.

Suzie came from out of nowhere to escort me away from the wolf, who hadn't moved at all since I walked up on it. Problem solved. Thanks Suzie.

Working for Uncle Ben

My other half joined the Family Lucas this week and is a producer on an upcoming blockbuster game. All that BS at his last job was a wonderful gift. Had that not happened, he may not have thought about moving on at this time, so, thanks guys!

We took a walk around the LucasArts campus last weekend and afterwards I told David it's been really nice and to write when he could. If I worked there I don't think I'd come home very often. It's a gorgeous place. Makes EA's "campus" look like a mental asylum, which it was some days, but mostly it was fun.

Our group had BBQ's in the parking lot with lots of sidewalk chalk and bizarre drawings; found giant blanket penises on chairs, courtesy of a fellow producer with an incredible gift for fabric origami; and created the [insert name here]-cam in the hallway so we could see when a particularly annoying product guy was on his way into our department; and then my favorite bit of shenanigans...

There was one guy in marketing who made it his job to ruin every day for me, to be a total pig asshole about everything, all the time. We used to call him Fred Flinstone because not only was he just as stupid as Fred, his head was just as block-shaped. One day I came back from meetings and told everyone what a total dick he'd been to me, again.

My coworkers were (and are) a fiercely loyal group, and if you mess with one of us, you've messed with all of us. They'd become as fed up as I was at how this guy was treating me and our group's role on projects. They consoled me and I felt better for having such good people around me, then I headed home.

The next day I came in and heard a wonderful story about Fred's sudden computer trouble. Fred came in that morning and fired up his machine and instead of seeing the classic Farrah Fawcett poster on his desktop, he saw a gorgeous, sweaty gay porn model wearing only a towel - over his shoulder.

And all of his desktop files had been renamed to things like NAMBLA, men_on_men, and so on. Things that would surely disturb this block-headed, homophobic, MCP.

Confounded by the state of his computer, he called IT to "fix" it. He didn't realize all the changes were cosmetic and he may have hoped IT could find out who played the prank. While IT combed through his files to see what was accessed and how, they found a certain pornographic story that had been accessed at the same time the changes were made.

When Fred realized his dirty little secret wasn't secret anymore, he backed off on the idea of lodging a complaint. But he did come by our department on the verge of tears to demand that our programmers be punished, which of course they weren't, because all they'd done is balance out the karma a little. It was one of the best days ever.

After he left we read his story - which we'll never know if he downloaded or tried to write - and it was so bad, we cried from laughing. I mean, if he wrote it, good for him for trying, but on your WORK computer? That was our Fred. If he didn't write it, whoa. Just because it's online doesn't mean it should be downloaded.