Get Yer Sh*t and Go

Dear Spider Living in the WC,

I know you're not on the computer reading my blog because you're currently terrorizing me from the ceiling of the bathroom, but when you log on later while we're asleep, let this serve as your 24 hours' notice to get the hell out.

Do not go back to the water closet where at any moment you could drop down onto my head whilst I'm relieving myself, causing me to jump up mid-stream and run hysterically through the house batting at my hair.

Do not take a side trip into the bedroom where you might think about crawling all over my face on your way toward the window.

Just crawl your spindly, creepy, gross ass down where you will either be clumsily battered by one of six cat paws or stomped on by a boot; or make your way quietly back out the window from whence you crawled your nasty, icky, spidery ass in.

If I see you in there tomorrow morning, the broom comes out and this won't end well for you. You've been warned.

Good day, Spider Sir.

Update! As of this morning, he's GONE! (Or she, she full of spindly, creepy, icky spider babies... omg, where IS she???)

Getting Closer

I'm getting closer to a couple of things... Meeting a rattlesnake up close and personal and running into a former boss - it's just a matter of time for both.

Working in St. Helena today I walked out to the back area of a country lot located up above Lake Hennessey - not much out there besides vineyards and one-lane roads.

As I walked away from the house, the agent said - of course - "Watch out for rattlesnakes." I knew he was going to say that and I was already on high alert, scanning the ground all around me.

I got my shots and made a hasty retreat to the deck while we talked about snakes. He told me how his cat catches and kills baby rattle snakes and leaves them on his front stoop. That's one talented cat.

Finishing up around the front of the house, I walked off toward the side of the yard and he said "Be careful..." He was really worried I'd walk right into one. Then he told me that whenever the topic of snakes comes up, he usually sees one soon thereafter. Neat!

As for the boss... A few months ago I happened to think of a former boss I loved working for but lost touch with over the years, so I sent him a message through an online networking service. The message bounced back, but I figured he'd get the message whenever he logged in.

Then a former coworker and I who have been in touch again for the past few months sent me a message about another former colleague and he showed up as a link on her page.

The other day I was leaving an open house when I saw a couple coming up the walk - I thought for sure it was him and his wife. I thought that was weird - what would they be doing there? But it turned out to be their doubles.

Today when I stopped for coffee a guy came walking past my car - he looked exactly like my former boss. What the hell is going on with the universe?

I think it'll be fun to get back in touch with him, so I'm looking forward to that. I am not looking forward to meeting any snakes - ever.