Working Girl

I am a working girl. I shake my money maker for a living, which as it turns out, happens to be a camera, which I don't shake as much as I gingerly transport to various locations to make pretty pictures for clients.

It's fun work, which is why I love it. I grew tired of crying at my desk at my last corporate job so I made a change. Best decision I ever made. That, and buying a juicer.

Now, just because it's fun, and not, say, curing cancer or cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, doesn't make it any less important - to me. It's how I make my living and people tell me I'm good at it, so it would seem I'm on the right track.

I mention this because... Yesterday I watched an episode of the Rachel Zoe Project - don't judge me - it's fascinating to watch such a tiny, frail creature walk and talk like a real human.

I'm sure I watch her show for the same reason I like watching Kell on Earth, The City and one or two of the Real Housewives - women making their way in the world. I dig it. I've been a working girl for over 20 years - I identify with independent ladyfolk.

There is a point to all this... stay with me...

During the show, Rachel and her hubby are in New York for fashion week, having flown in a few days early to enjoy the city before the shows start. She gets a phone call from Naomi "Slappy" Campbell who's doing a charity fashion show and wants Rachel to style it.

Of course she's going to say yes - IT'S HER JOB. Her husband starts whining and carrying on about how he won't get to spend any time with her after all. She seemed to feel guilty about taking the job, stuck between a slappy rock & a whiny hard place, whereas I don't know if a man would feel guilt about taking on the work, or just annoyed at having a whiny spouse.

Now, if the tables were turned and HE had some "important" job and a client called needing his services, maybe Rachel would whine about it, but it would be dismissed as her being a baby and get over it honey cause daddy's gotta make a living so go shopping and buy yourself a hat.

I couldn't help but be annoyed by his reaction to her saying yes to a huge job, especially when her entire business depends on that phone ringing (and a silly reality show where she repeatedly says "major," but you get my point).

Except for not having my own reality show and never saying "major," that's pretty much how my business runs. I am dependent on someone deciding to pick up the phone to call and hire me. I don't (yet) have the luxury of saying No. What I said No to was a dreary 9-to-5 slogfest that makes me want to light shit on fire and stab people in the neck with pens.

Anyway... my point...

I get the feeling that, in general, working women still aren't taken seriously, or their jobs, by men. Like we're just playing Worky Lady but our *real* job is cleaning up the mess in the kitchen after cooking all the food. It's irrelevant what that job is, whether it's building rockets or playing with bracelets.

I say this because I've dealt with this first-hand. There are days when I am slammed with post-processing after shooting a large job. This is work that cannot be put off or done only between the hours of X and Y. It has to be done when it has to be done, which I can never predict, and that's how the job goes.

There was one time when I got the whiny "how much longer do you have to do that" response to me having to miss out on some TV to finish a job. Yes, I do have to do this now and I don't know for how much longer so you're going to have to put your big pants on and get yourself your own lollipop.

I'm sorry - that sounds shitty - but it was disappointing to realize that what I was doing wasn't taken as seriously as some other sort of job like, playing computer games. Turn the tables and you don't ever see me hanging in the doorway with a droopy lip wondering when we can go out & play. I'm happy to do my own thing until work is done, which, for the record, happens at least 75% of the time, because daddy's gotta make a living and I'm happy to let him make the hell out of it.

My point...

Boys, in my opinion, still aren't comfortable with girls saddling up and doing their own thing. Some may be - I think I know a few who are - though I wonder if they'd be supportive and understanding of the demands of their ladies' jobs and not get a little whiny if it started to cut in to playtime.

Of course all of this is based on the bulletproof scientific data of my one experience and the Rachel Zoe Project, which is totally major.

Inspiring Strength

NPR on Saturday is always full of interesting things, from the great tidbits I learn on Car Talk to compelling stories on This American Life and Soundprint.

On TAL this week they had stories about "being left alone." The story I really loved was about a woman and her two young kids back in the early 80s, who had been left alone by her husband who'd been dealing cocaine. He'd taken off and she had no idea where he was.

He'd been gone about a week when a thug from Florida came knocking on her door asking for him. He'd absconded with a kilo of the boss's coke and the boss was going to get his merchandise or his money.

The thug showed her his gun and said he'd come in and wait for her husband to come home. As the kids played in the yard, she let him in and later told the kids a friend of dad's would be staying with them for a little while. The kids thought it was exciting and fun to have dad's friend stay over.

She never showed any sign of fear or anxiety in front of the thug or the kids. She cried once in the bathroom the night the thug showed up, but never lost it again.

That first night after she put the kids to bed, they watched TV and the Godfather came on. She casually mentioned that her uncle was in the mafia. She noticed the thug seemed nervous after she mentioned her uncle. He called his boss in Florida to tell him they may not want to get involved with this woman and her husband because she was "connected." The boss convinced him to stay.

The next day, Miami Vice came on the TV and she mentioned that her cousin was a New York City detective. This made the thug even more nervous and he called his boss again to express concern about being involved in what seemed to be turning into a high-risk assignment.

Throughout the thug's stay, the boss would call every hour or so to berate and threaten the woman, thinking that might help smoke out her husband. Fed up with the boss's harassment, she told him if he had to have her and her children killed, so be it, that was out of her control, so he should go ahead and do whatever he had to do.

For days this thug stayed with her and the kids and she went about business as usual, never showing any signs of distress. One day, she convinced him to let her go next door for milk, and while there, called her good friend and explained what was happening and asked him to stop by the house, to show this thug that they were not alone.

The friend stopped by and the thug thought it must be her NYC detective cousin - he just happened to be wearing a dark navy t-shirt and pants. He excused himself to again phone his boss, now very upset about the position he was in. Somehow the boss convinced him to stay, but it was clear that the only person who was afraid in this situation was the man with the gun.

A day or so later the husband finally showed up with the money and a really good explanation that allowed the thug to call it settled and be on his way. Before he left, he apologized profusely to the woman for having put her through this, then took her hand and kissed it.

And yes, she left her husband after that.