Debating the Deranged

This weekend I went to a dinner party and while chewing a delicious bite of food, the person next to me asked me what I thought about gay marriage.

I told him I thought it was wonderful and long overdue. To that he said, "So you'd be OK with someone wanting to marry his dog?"

That wasn't the first time I'd heard that crock of shit. I'll never understand the ridiculous attempt to correlate two human beings wanting to marry one another with someone wanting to marry a pet. I politely said as much and to that he asked what I thought about polygamists. I said To each his own - it's none of my business.

There isn't anything new I can add to the argument supporting same-sex marriage. I want a free country where I'm free to live my life and other people are free to live theirs, though we seem to get farther and farther away from that ideal every day.

Same-sex marriage has absolutely no impact on my or anyone else's life except the two people who want to get married, so why does anyone else give half a shit whether they get married or not?

If your religion tells you it's wrong, that's your problem, end of story. But what I love about that is, Catholic priests have been molesting, raping and abusing kids for YEARS and they'll protect the perpetrators while being openly against same-sex marriage. Biggest crock of shit, EVER.

I'll never understand the opposition to something so fair and the almost total lack of evolved thinking. It's going to happen - it's simply a matter of time.

And I always have to wonder about those who are so publicly against it. I'm convinced they have stacks of gay porn strewn about 'in their closets' and under their beds. They're OK with taking it up the ass in private while the wife's out of town, but let a same-sex couple be a legal family? No way! Harder, Bob! More lube!

At any rate, someday maybe we can marry our pets, too. I've met many dogs who are finer people than most people.

Qualified for Marriage?

Today I heard a news bit on the radio about the upcoming state Supreme Court hearing on gay marriage. The reporter played a snippet from a representative opposed to gay marriage who said that to be married you must be "qualified," and to "qualify" you must be a couple comprised of a man and a woman.

Now, I'm no rocket surgeon, but how in the hell does hetero orientation "qualify" you for marriage? That's all this idiot could say to back up his argument - that the key issue was "qualification," that it was a "privilege" to be married, and that qualification was dependent on one man and one woman.

Has this dipshit ever BEEN married? Doesn't he have any idea that where someone wants to put his penis has no bearing on whether or not he can be a productive marriage partner? I can think of a dozen other criteria more important to "qualify" someone for marriage other than sexual orientation.

As for the argument that gay marriage somehow isn't as productive for a family as traditional marriage, please explain to me how all those traditional divorces and traditional custody battles benefit the children? Maybe I'm just being dense. Go ahead and spell it out for me and speak slowly. And for the gay kids growing up in traditional families, they're supposed to be better off, is that right?

And how is marriage a privilege? David and I didn't lift a finger to earn this so-called privilege, but we did cough up the license fees. And I guess we stayed together for several years before getting hitched, which is only an option and not a requirement for marriage, as is staying together after the ceremony.

But a privilege? Really? Why would only hetero couples be granted the benefit of filing joint taxes or the special advantage of collecting crazy in-laws? And let's not forget the fun of divorcing - something very special, indeed, reserved for the privileged heteros.

Yes, what a giant crock of shit. Let's for sure protect this sacred privilege for the qualified few willing to spend the money and promise to sleep only with their spouses, even if sometimes some of those chosen few end up tapping their toes in public bathrooms in hopes of a little homo fun on the side. Yes, definitely.