Qualified for Marriage?

Today I heard a news bit on the radio about the upcoming state Supreme Court hearing on gay marriage. The reporter played a snippet from a representative opposed to gay marriage who said that to be married you must be "qualified," and to "qualify" you must be a couple comprised of a man and a woman.

Now, I'm no rocket surgeon, but how in the hell does hetero orientation "qualify" you for marriage? That's all this idiot could say to back up his argument - that the key issue was "qualification," that it was a "privilege" to be married, and that qualification was dependent on one man and one woman.

Has this dipshit ever BEEN married? Doesn't he have any idea that where someone wants to put his penis has no bearing on whether or not he can be a productive marriage partner? I can think of a dozen other criteria more important to "qualify" someone for marriage other than sexual orientation.

As for the argument that gay marriage somehow isn't as productive for a family as traditional marriage, please explain to me how all those traditional divorces and traditional custody battles benefit the children? Maybe I'm just being dense. Go ahead and spell it out for me and speak slowly. And for the gay kids growing up in traditional families, they're supposed to be better off, is that right?

And how is marriage a privilege? David and I didn't lift a finger to earn this so-called privilege, but we did cough up the license fees. And I guess we stayed together for several years before getting hitched, which is only an option and not a requirement for marriage, as is staying together after the ceremony.

But a privilege? Really? Why would only hetero couples be granted the benefit of filing joint taxes or the special advantage of collecting crazy in-laws? And let's not forget the fun of divorcing - something very special, indeed, reserved for the privileged heteros.

Yes, what a giant crock of shit. Let's for sure protect this sacred privilege for the qualified few willing to spend the money and promise to sleep only with their spouses, even if sometimes some of those chosen few end up tapping their toes in public bathrooms in hopes of a little homo fun on the side. Yes, definitely.