Showing posts with label child-free and relieved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child-free and relieved. Show all posts

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Cats Are Needy


Which means, it's a good thing I don't have kids. What is up with three cats all needing attention from me when I'm trying to work, watch compelling guilty-pleasure television, or use the bathroom? The whole point of having three of them was that they could bond with EACH OTHER.

Things haven't worked out according to that plan. Each thinks he/she is the only cat, or should be the only cat and demands attention throughout the day and will not be ignored. If they had thumbs they'd be throwing things at me and breaking my shit.

Every time I'm on the phone they demand more attention and then the bird joins the clamoring chorus, yakking along with me in his unintelligible dialect. People on the other end of the phone think I have boisterous family visiting because he sounds like me, only louder and more garbled.

Neo, the street kitty who now resembles a small bear cub demands (and gets) lap time, which involves rolling around while I vigorously scratch his thick noggin and then he starts to climb - first up into my armpit then up the front of my shirt, purr-meowing the whole time, coating my pants and shirt with fur. Swell. When he hits overload limit he gets dumped onto the floor and I get to go wash everything he's touched - he makes me itch, that one.

The others aren't as bad, but they still get mouthy and clingy, instead of being cool, detached and aloof. Where are *those* cats? Those are the kind of cats I need.
Can you imagine if I had kids? Yee-ikes.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Crazy Kids

Too crazy for me. While out to dinner tonight there were noisy kids all around us. One behind me wailing, others being loud and pestering diners all around their table, their parents doing nothing to correct their behavior, and one beside us standing up in his chair and walking across the table to his mother, with his father's help.

Let me say that again - the kid walked across the table, with his father's help. How charming!

We sat there incredulous and were soon on our way home. We'll take our lunatic bird and retarded cats over that any day.

At home I found an email from a good friend who's hoping to have baby growing in her woomba right this moment. I couldn't help myself and replied to her that she's going to pass a watermelon through her coo-coo. I can't imagine doing it.

She responded by teasing me about my lax bc habits, but at this point I don't think there are many toy surprises left in my cracker jacks. And we're careful enough.

But I thought about it - what if we had a little kid right now? I got home from work today as tired, or perhaps more so, than when I left this morning. How in the hell could I take care of a kid?

I applaud and respect all the mothers and fathers out there brave enough to take this on and raise quality humans. You're braver than I.