Statusey

Like my fellow blogsters, I often neglect this medium in favor of screwing around on Facebook.

Because, I mean, there's just so much going on in my life, it's easier to keep everyone informed about critical happenings with quick, updated status messages. They're convenient, single-serving packets of info that everyone can easily digest in seconds.

To illustrate, here's a snapshot of about a week's worth of critical status messages.

• Jennifer says The New Phone Book's Here! The New Phone Book's Here! The sun has come out! He hates these clouds!
• Jennifer likes the sangiovese.
• Jennifer is giddy about the new season of Flight of the Conchords.
• Jennifer thought she knew who the 5th cylon is... but now she's not so sure. [scooby doo noise].
• Jennifer thinks the blues in French sounds stupid. And what would the French know about the blues, anyway, with all that great food, wine and chocolate? Please.
• Jennifer picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
• Jennifer doesn't want to cause a panic, but there appears to be a Battlestar Gallactica marathon going on (in BC, anyway). It's back tonight! Huzzah!
• Jennifer finds it's easier to work uninterrupted late at night, just like at an office. But I can wear my jammies here. Or a prom dress. Doesn't matter.
• Jennifer is glad everyone got off the plane that landed in the Hudson River.
• Jennifer is suddenly very busy. Drought or firehose - is there *no* middle ground?
• Jennifer is waiting for the bird to shut the hell up. Maybe it's time to drug his birdy pellets.
• Jennifer is off to the Land of Nod.
• Jennifer is amazed that WA passed a law to rename King county for another King. The first one wasn't good enough, eh? Redonkulous.
• Jennifer is learning a new CMS. Mmm... content management. Yummy.
• Jennifer can say she's tried the Take 5 coffee. Meh.
• Jennifer is off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Id.
• Jennifer is bored of the manatee-written 24 scripts. But it was fun to watch Jack punch someone in the face.
• Jennifer just got a little nauseated watching Bush smugly talk about his time in office. Forever a vile douchebag - don't let the door hit you on the way out.
• Jennifer is all excited about King 5 News and her imaginary favorite aunt, Jean Enerson.
• Jennifer is thinking someone spilled a coke on a Facebook server. Shit is sloooooooooow today.
• Jennifer can't decide what to have for breakfast.
• Jennifer is bummed that our sweet weekend is at a close... but happy about Mickey winnin the globe. Springsteen, too!
• Jennifer is going to be a background performer, or selected parts of her, as directed by the director.
• Jennifer is growing increasingly peeved about the Canadian pronunciation of Yahoo. It's not yeah-hoo - it's YAH-hoo - get it right. It's not Cah-neah-duh, is it?
• Jennifer would like to have a word with the jet stream.
• Jennifer loves that The Wrestler was written by a former Onion Editor in Chief. Loved the movie. More Mickey!
• Jennifer is going to see The Wrestler... I've missed that rascal Mr. Roarke. Wait, not *that* Mr. Roarke. "De plane!"
• Jennifer says "It's "more important," not "more importantly!" Yeeeeaaaaaaaaooooooo!

As you can see, it's a wonder I found a spare few minutes to make this post. With a dance card this full, it won't be long before I have an intern taking over The Nootsmaak.

Kinda Shredded

I've had that bug going around that saps every last drop of energy out of you and converts it into snot packed into your sinuses.

Slogging back & forth from Bart is already a drag, but becomes much more so when feeling like a wet paper sack.

Earlier this week I saw the little black cat that loiters around that area and became consumed with worry about this poor little kitty living in skeevetown near busy streets where no one gives a shit about driving the speed limit or waiting for a green light.

On Monday the traffic lights at the intersection by the garage were blinking red, and as I waited to make my left turn, a dipshit coming from the opposite lane blew straight through the intersection. He never even slowed down.

As I walked to the train after parking my car on Monday, I overheard a woman asking a man who had also just parked if they really check for permits before 10 a.m. Um, yes, they do, you lazy ass, and thanks for taking a spot I pay for every month.

Can't afford to pay the monthly fee? Then don't park there. Or get there earlier when there's plenty of parking for ONE GIANT DOLLAR on the top three floors of the garage.

I want is a ranch large enough where I can save all the beautiful kitties in the world and a Peet's coffee nearby.

Leafy Karma

Karma's funny. A couple of weekends ago, Crazy Neighbor Bob used his little electric leaf blower to blow all the downed leaves in his yard across the street, in front of our house and a few others.

Rather than rake up his own leaves, he did the lazy thing. All I could do was shake my head & remember that the street sweeper would come in a few days & clean up his mess for him.

It wasn't so much about the laziness, but it was rainy and the piles of leaves he'd created were wet and slippery when turning into or out of our driveway.

The next time CNB fired up the leaf blower, I heard yelling outside. I poked my head out the front door and heard what sounded like another neighbor yelling at Bob to stop blowing all his leaves into the street in front of the other houses.

I chuckled to myself as I watched CNB, evidently with a shred of social conscience, rake up all the leaves he collected into big piles and deposit them into his green bin. There was nary a stray leaf in his or our front yard.

That evening the weather kicked up again with wind and rain, and the next morning his yard was covered again in leaves and our yard was almost totally clean.