I Like You

Summer. I would like the entire year to be like you. I like being warm. Wearing sandals. Sorbet. Driving with the windows down. All of them. Hair like a rat's nest.

Know what else I like, still? Meat.

Full-time vegetarianism doesn't work. I like it most of the time, but every now & then I gots ta have some roasted chicken, a plate O carpaccio - something. It works. Body seems to like it.

Know what I don't like? Gunk. Clutter. Klooge. I have to de-clutter the house (again), clear out my head, clean out the "friends" list on stupid facecrap - purge the bullshit.

I'm swirling around in whirlpool of that foamy gunk you see in crappy little creeks & need to paddle the fuck out to something clean and clear and open and expansive.

I think I need to go for a run.

I'm OK You're OK

OK?

Paraphrasing something I think Larry David said, every human interaction is rife with potential peril. I appreciate that sentiment now more than ever.

While I do my best to avoid drama, it happens. Sometimes it's for the best and shouldn't be avoided. Doesn't make it any easier. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did, but I can't change it now. I'm sure I could have handled things better, but I can only be myself and do the best I can.

It's been a very difficult week trying to understand what happened and how something that seemed fairly minor became a friendship-ending event. While I take full responsibility for my part in all of it, the other person is convinced that all the blame lies with me.

Switching places for a moment, I can understand the highly emotional reaction that makes me the antichrist, but to accept no responsibility? So much was said by both of us, that makes no sense whatsoever.

What's interesting about having a falling out with someone is what they might try to project onto you, showing you all the things they're really upset about with themselves. The other thing that's interesting is that no matter what you think you know about someone, you only see what they let you see. There's an ocean of shit you can never know until you get into a difficult spot and they reveal things that show you a totally different picture.

What's worse than losing a friend is realizing whatever friendship you thought you had wasn't strong enough to overcome a problem. I don't think you can call anyone a true friend until you've weathered some shit together and found a way to work through it.

It must have been a huge shock to realize I'm not all about cracking jokes and being silly. That's life. It's not all Happy Fun Ball all the time. Sometimes things get sticky and serious. I'm sure it was a crappy way to learn more about me and that sucks.

Overall, it's been a shitty couple of weeks but now it's behind me. Seems better to find out early if someone is too emotionally damaged to meet you halfway than lose a ton of time and energy trying to make the impossible work.

What I'm left with is the reminder to stay true to yourself in all things and no matter what anyone else says, trust yourself and your vision. Onward.