We're saved!
Where is S.C. Johnson's Nobel Prize? Do they realize they've single-handedly saved the world from terrorism with their little one quart zip lock bags?
I felt so secure on my flight knowing no one on board had more than a quart bag's worth of liquids, gels, or pastes - except those with less-than-perfect eyesight traveling with contact lens fluids and mothers with infants traveling with formula.
At one airport the agent never checked my rollaboard and instead gave my backpack the equivalent of a strip search.
At another airport they went through both bags and explained the contact lens solution didn't have to be in the one-quart bag, but it still had to be taken out so they could "see it." Um, Betty, I have something you can see if you want to see something.
So here's my new policy. If you're traveling by plane, fuck the luggage and don't worry about getting dressed. Wear your robe and slippers and throw all your shit into a clear plastic trash bag. You're wasting your time neatly packing your things into a tidy suitcase.
And those nice clothes you like to travel in? Don't bother. You'll have to take off your belt, your watch, your hair clips, your shoes, and possibly your bra if it's providing weapons-grade support. Why waste all that time? Robe & flip flops.
You'll get through security in a flash and won't have to worry about getting dressed all over again or repacking your shit in a frenzied rush to get out of the way and off to your gate.
4 comments:
On our last trip they wouldn't let me take my sub 3 oz. bottle of hand cleaning gel through security unless it was in a plastic bag. If it wasn't in a plastic bag, they would have to confiscate it. Fortunately, Anne was through security, so they just passed her bag back to me, put the gel in it, and put that through.
They were quite willing to help out with the passing of the bag and putting the item in the bag for me. But without that bag, I would have had to forfeit the goo.
Rules is rules, sir. Is Yossarian running the TSA?
Speaking of useless. I went to NY a few weeks ago, carried on, packed liquids over 3oz, and didn't put them in plastic bags. As I placed my suitcase on the x-ray conveyor belt, the TSA guard says "Did you pack any liquids?" I looked up at him and sheepishly replied, "Yeah...." He completely ignored my response and the luggage went through without incident.
An inspired rant. Left me giggling. Now I want to go EVERYWHERE in a bathrobe and slippers, particularly here in DC. (Apologies for the unexpected and jarring mental picture.)
Not at all jarring - highly amusing. The TSA agents are nice enough, they're just doing their jobs, but the "safety" rules are stupid. When it's time to head north again next month, I'm driving, and I'm taking as much shampoo, conditioner, lotion, water, coffee - whatever - as I want.
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