Poor Saps

Just think, as I sit here working at my cozy desk in my comfy sweats and fleecy slippers, with fuzzy sleeping cats nearby and the radio playing good tunes, 12 poor saps had to get up early, commute to a grungy, depressing courthouse and are listening to lawyers drone on for hours under fluorescent lights, in stiff chairs, and have had to endure weeks of such abuse for a whopping $15 per day plus mileage one way.

Can one remain totally fair and impartial after weeks of such treatment?

"Juror Number Ten..."

"...You're excused."

One of the nicest things I've ever heard. I was willing to do my civic duty, but after enduring too many hours of endless, repetitive questions from gasbag lawyers, I didn't want anything to do with any of it. What a huge waste of time and money. I should have read sites like this before ever showing up.

I thought it was interesting that they dismissed a lot of potential jurors with a background in technology or with white collar jobs for a carjacking trial. I found out from a friend of mine that I should have never been considered for the panel because I'm self-employed, but I need to do some research so I know how to handle that in the future.

This judge said the only way anyone could be excused for a financial hardship was to show tax returns and pay stubs. As my friend said, that doesn't show the full financial picture, and as an independent contractor, if you don't work, you don't get paid - that should be the end of the story - release me!

The prosecutor repeatedly asked the different jurors if they would have a problem with testimony from a police officer who lied to a suspect in order to collect information. She also kept asking people if they realized that this trial was not "CSI." WHAT? This is NOT CSI Hayward? Oh well fuck this. I'm leaving.

She probably excused me because I didn't laugh at her jokes. Or maybe it was my comments about police officers being mostly good but some are assholes, and if her case is relying solely on the testimony from cops who lied in order to gather information, I may not find that convincing and find the defendant not guilty.

When she called my number & name and told me I was excused, I had to force myself to not run from the courtroom. It felt a lot like quitting my job - I'm FREE! I wanted to see a movie, go shopping, paint a masterpiece, go to the beach - everything - right that minute.

I was just so happy to get home and back to my new routine. I'm shutting off the alarm clock for the rest of the summer.

Summer is Better with Coffee

I feel like a kid fresh out of school on summer vacation, but it's taken a few days to feel the joy. I spent most of the weekend fighting sinus trouble & migraine-ish headaches, then Monday was busy with meetings / social activities with another migrainey headache in the background, and early this morning was my first foray into the obligation of jury duty.

When the judge told us this morning (after only a few hours of waiting / roll call / waiting / sitting / waiting / listening) that we would be released after filling out a questionnaire, I felt like you do when you find out a nasty 4-hour afternoon meeting gets canceled. Giddy. Drunk on free time.

I was anxious to get some caffeine into my system, as I'd made the big mistake of not grabbing ANY coffee this morning on my way to Hey-Ward. I would also be able to take care of a dozen things I couldn't get to last week or over the weekend.

I couldn't tolerate much coffee yesterday, thanks to Mister Migraine, so I thought I wouldn't need any this morning - I didn't feel any withdrawals yesterday so today I should be fine, right?

So not right. Yesterday I had little Miss Vicodin working on the migraine, and Miss Vicodin doesn't need little things like caffeine getting in her way. She works alone and is amazingly effective, if not a bit dampening.

Mmm... calming, soothing, fuzzy Vicodin blanket.

Sorry - where was I? Yes - caffeine - right. So 2 hours into the waiting-to-be-called-a-thon I realized I'd made a big mistake. I asked the folks at the counter if there might be time to sneak downstairs & grab coffee and the woman said "Oh no, we're going to get the call any minute now and even if you did get it, you'd have to dump it" (because you can't take it into the courtroom with you). Drats.

She wasn't lying about the call - it came about 5 minutes later, so we all filed downstairs to the courtroom to meet the judge and find out what's next. It took about an hour for the judge to give us all the details of the type of trial, how the jury will be selected, courtroom hours, parking, our obligation to serve on a jury, and that we're WELCOME TO BRING our COFFEE or other non-alcoholic beverages INTO THE COURT ROOM. Bracka fracka bracka!!!

Then they handed out the 14-page questionnaire, which I rocketed through and might elicit additional questioning by the lawyers next week, because I was totally WITHOUT CAFFEINE at that time - something that's happened only twice before in the past 27 years.

I said some things about law enforcement and incarceration - nothing any other envelope-pushing young adult hasn't gone through. It could get me kicked right off the list and that wouldn't be so bad, but at this point I wouldn't mind doing my duty. The judge seems cool and they had a surprisingly efficient way of dealing with 150 people in a few hours. But geek that I am, on the way home I was thinking of ways some things could be streamlined and done online.

Anyway, I raced to Peet's and topped off, got home & packed up my mom's b-day gift (which she should have opened yesterday), paid a few bills, went to the store, caught up on email and had lunch. With caffeine again running through my veins, all is right in the world. The migraine is finally gone (for this month) and it should be smooth sailing, at least until next Monday when I go back to court & find out what they thought of my questionnaire.

I Heart Freelancing

I just wish I could do more of it. I had one day (today) to attend a great lunch meeting with a new project team and later to catch up with good friends, and tomorrow at 8 fucking 30 a.m. I get to report for jury duty.

How belligerent should one be to be dismissed from jury duty, but not arrested? Or should I just seem retarded? Maybe I'll just keep saying "Everyone's always guilty."

Now I can't afford to be a juror. If I don't work, I don't get paid - $15 a day doesn't even cover my gas to/from the courthouse. Who are they kidding? And I desperately need to do laundry and a hundred other things.

Not only that, but I can't tell my new clients that after they waited for me to get back from a 2-week vacation, then waited another 2 weeks for me to finish up at my last job, they'll have to wait for me to get through a trial? That would suck a major amount of ass.

I could say I'm breast feeding something and can't serve until a certain date, or that I have to change my parents' diapers 12 times a day, or get a medical excuse. I'm leaning toward the diapers story.