24 Hours of Ass

We *were* watching the last season of 24 and it's so bad, it's not even a fun bad. The writing is still terrible, but this season the writers seem to really hate women - even more than before. Seriously.

Cherry Jones, who plays what you'd think would be a super strong female character - the president of the United States - was slapped in the face last season. When have any of the male presidents ever been slapped? Sure, one was shot in the neck, but I'll take a bullet in the neck any day over a slap in the face.

Now this season all her top advisors are men. Can't have a woman running the country without a shit ton of advice from a stable of stallions - men know best. You just keep your skirt suit straight - we'll handle the rest. There isn't one woman in her executive team. None. And as David just reminded me, last season her daughter turned out to be a traitor.

Then we have another super strong actress, Katee Sackhoff, who kicked all kinds of ass on BSG, in a role where she's emotionally and physically abused by a former boyfriend. W. T. F.? And don't even get me started on how she could possibly work for CTU and lie about who she is. Come ON.

Also returning from last season is Renee Walker, the tough, now-former FBI agent who had some sort of "breakdown" as a result of being undercover with the Russian mob. So destroyed, she tried to kill herself, as we were shown by the scars on her wrists.

Later we get to see her shower and then endure some friendly rape by her former Russian mob contact all in the name of helping her country. Who, by the way, is also a BSG alum. 24 has become the Love Boat of anti-terrorism dramas.

Jack never had a breakdown and he was tortured in China - for an entire off season. Why isn't Jack a cutter? Or at least a chain smoker? Are you kidding me? Jack's also never needed to shower during any 24-hour period. Ever.

And Chloe - hilarious Chloe - kept around for the comic relief we've come to expect. Love her, but she's not respected by her coworkers or her boss. She might as well be a bumbling secretary.

Even Kim, silly, leg-caught-in-the-cougar-trap Kim, wasn't given anything to do other than get a kid into and out of a car and tell Jack to go fight the bad guys. So lame.

I stayed with the show this long because it was fun to watch Jack Bauer holler his way through every show and see hilarious pseudo technology in action. But now I'm done. I couldn't give two shits what happens to Jack Blower or anyone else in the show.

They had some good years. There were a few good female characters in years past, but they were all killed off or put out to pasture. This season the writers have serious mommy issues and might be keeping their girlfriends in deep wells telling them "It puts the lotion in the basket."

I suppose we can blame Kiefer Sutherland for this season - he's the exec producer. It would seem it's Kiefer who has the mommy issues.

Cannot watch this shit anymore. What a waste of time. Obviously I'm the idiot for tuning in. G'bye Jack.

What Are Words For?

Words are critical. Words help me make a living. Words are one of my most favorite things. It pains me when there's a lack of words. Important words. Words like: "Note: rinsing the espresso machine will take approximately [time duration] and require approximately [number] of tank refills."

Yesterday the espresso robot told me it was time to decalcify. OK. I don't have any such solution on-hand, but I pushed the button to decalcify simply so the message would go away and I could move on with my life.

It went through its paces and then told me it was time to rinse the machine. I checked the manual and this is what it says: When the descaling cycle is completed, close the knob. Rinse out the tank and fill it with fresh drinking water. Press the button to confirm the rinse cycle. Open the knob. The machine will start rinsing. When the rinse cycle is completed, close the knob and load the circuit."

Nowhere does it say how long it will rinse, how much water it will use - nothing more than exactly what it says above. All the machine says while it's rinsing is "Machine is Rinsing." Informative.

I don't want to tell you how many times I refilled that tank and switched out Pyrex cups full of fresh water, or how long I stood there doing it, because I'm still feeling so stupid, I can't even describe how stupid I still feel.

And I can't tell you how long I did this because at one point I blacked out from blind rage and hopelessness that I would ever go back to living a normal life, a life not spent tending the insatiable water needs of a rinsing espresso machine.

I will tell you that I used up BC's water supply for the rest of this year and probably broke even on the cost of car insurance (we don't pay the water bill here ;). She may not be decalcified, but she's been rinsed better than any water-using machine ever invented since the dawn of man.

Would it have been SO difficult for the Saeco people to add one line of copy to the manual, telling me it might only take ONE TANK of water to rinse the machine? That I should just let the tank run out and that would be that? Would that have been so hard?

I still don't know if that's really how it works. When I've rinsed the machine before and the water tank runs out, it tells me to refill the tank so it can keep going - and it keeps going for quite a while until the machine tells you "Rinsing Complete."

There's absolutely no information in the manual that tells the user what to do or what to expect. How thoughtless and half-ass. It's more like whole ass. It's just a few words. Simple, clear, helpful words.

It could be a total coincidence, but today I didn't feel like having any coffee. I made a pot of tea. I have no taste for coffee at all. I don't know if it'll ever come back.