Friday, December 12, 2008

Getting Gussied Up


How a woman from the Bay Area dresses for a party in BC:
  • Take scalding hot shower - stay in there as long as possible
  • Eat scalding hot bowl of soup
  • Put on thick black tights
  • Put on thick camisole
  • Put on Under Armor running shorts over tights
  • Put on thick fleecy socks over tights
  • Put on long-sleeved blouse
  • Put on knee-length skirt
  • Put on knee-high boots
  • Put fleece scarf around neck
  • Put on camel hair overcoat
  • Put on fleece gloves
With the Under Armor shorts over the tights, I looked like a cyclist getting ready for a winter ride. They really helped add a nice layer of insulation but after being at the party for a while, I was almost too warm. Regardless, I'm calling it a success. I was all dressed up but didn't freeze my buttons off.

I'm gonna need more boots.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hubba hubba hubba.

Hazel Nootsmaak said...

I used to love hubba bubba bubble gum.

Anonymous said...

Sissy-assed "soft" gum!! Back in my day, bubble gum was little pink chunks of hate that you'd have to gnaw on for an hour to work into something bubble-able. (Fleer and Bazooka had building-material subsidiaries.) And don't get me started on those powdery-pink planks that they'd throw in with baseball cards that would snap into razory shards in your mouth! Gum was TOUGH back then, sister, TOUGH I tells ya!

Hazel Nootsmaak said...

So good: "little pink chunks of hate".

I've worked my share of Bazooka - I promise you. It's a great workout. I heard a rumor many years ago that Robert Conrad used to chew gum constantly to develop his jawline... it was probably Bazooka.

The beauty of Hubba Bubba was that it didn't stick to your face - wasn't that the one? That was a problem for me... always peeling bubble gum skin off my face and getting it out of my hair.

If not chewing Hubba Bubba, you had to rely on Chapstick to prevent sticking, and then you're just chewing Chapstick after a while... Mmm... waxy good.