Yer Gonna Be Sticky

This morning I mixed up a new jar of almond butter and decided I'd throw in the very last of some honey that was crystallized - it had been sitting on the counter for weeks, un-squeezable in its solid form.

I was trying to scrape the honey out of the plastic bottle without letting it drip anywhere, 'cause if there's one thing that makes me crazy, it's sticky-ness.

As I maneuvered the little scraper in the bottle, it was inevitable - there's no way to work with honey without it dripping and within moments, your hands and fingers are sticky and there you are, sticking to everything.

It reminded me of an awkward conversation I had one day with one of Blue Shield's VPs. He's a really nice guy, but we didn't talk with him often and when we did, it was typical corporate chit chat and it was always just for a minute at the most.

One day he stopped by our area as a few of us were getting ready to head down to the Ferry Building's Farmer's Market. I was waiting for a friend to grab her wallet and the VP was hanging around in the main aisle.

He asked where we were headed and I told him, but I was nervous, 'cause I don't know the guy and we'd never tried a non corporate chit chat before. Then he asked what we were shopping for and I told him I needed to pick up more honey - this really good honey from a guy based in Santa Cruz.

At this point, I'm feeling like honey is the only topic we're going to cover, and my nerves get the better of me, so I start rambling on about how great the honey is and how you can taste every variety they have, and it's so good for you, blah, blah, blah, please why won't someone shove a toner cartridge in my mouth...

I guess because I'd been raving about it so much, he asked if I'd pick up some for him, and I cheerfully said Sure! Then I realized my friend wasn't yet ready to go and we would have a few more minutes of this strange interaction before getting anywhere near the safety of a crowded elevator.

The awkward conversation continued with me going on about how he wouldn't be able to wait until he got home to break into his jar, riding home on the train eating honey out of a jar with his hands. He was laughing along with my weird vision of his evening commute and then I said, "You're gonna be sticky!"

I can't tell you why I said it or what it even means. It just felt like the natural thing to say after imagining someone eating a jar of honey on a train. It made sense to me at the time. I'm sure at that moment he wondered how I'd passed the new hire drug screening.

Thankfully, just after I'd told a VP he would be sticky on his ride home, my friend was ready to go and the painful encounter was over. I did my best to avoid him after that and I'm sure he did the same.