Holiday Newsletter - in January!

And you thought the holidays were over. Not true! Our fake tree is still up - two trees, in fact - the tree we got in Canada last year and the old tree we'd left in the basement.

This year I even bought more decorations the day after Christmas - 50% off! - first time I've ever done that. I seriously considered putting up lighted wreaths, pathway trees and garlands all around the house that weekend. Maybe this weekend.

So, a Holiday Newsletter...

In a nutshell, 2009 was mostly a giant steaming pile of turds. But it did have a few high points. Leaving Canada was one of them, as was getting Henry home safely, which almost didn't happen - the biggest turd of the pile.

Early in the year we knew David's job in the Great White (grey) North wouldn't last - layoffs were happening every month or so. For a few weeks he came home every night not knowing how much longer he'd have a job. Turds.

I took on the new job of full-time housewife and I did not win any housewifing awards. I did cook a lot more and cleaned a few things and every week successfully forced myself to go to the grocery store. Turns out I'm not so good at housewifing.

I watched a LOT of Felicity and The Dog Whisperer. Maybe too much. But I learned a LOT about dog psychology and why Ben was ultimately the better choice over Noel. Noel and Felicity are just too similar - not enough chemistry. Ben challenges Felicity in a way Noel never could. Wait, what were we talking about?

Right - 2009 turds. So, about Canada... If you're a regular reader of The Nootsmaak, you're already familiar with the steaming turds of Canada. Suffice it to say, it wasn't the right place for us. Or anyone with a shred of ambition or energy. Or anyone who enjoys sunlight. Or anyone who dislikes mold and mildew. Or anyone who knows how to drive.

With David's job slowly slipping away, it was an easy decision to pack the french up and move the toast home. I found out a couple of weeks ago that the company he was working for shut down in early December. Good thing we didn't stick around to see what might happen. What a sad, sad Christmas that would have been. Turds.

As turdish as the whole adventure could be at times, David and I enjoyed many quiet nights together watching Don Cherry on Hockey Night in Canada (government mandated) and not eating poutine. Ever.

We explored parts of Vancouver tourists never see, with good reason. We saw black bears around the neighborhood - David saw many more than I while riding his bike throughout the area. And I saw many, many Canadian teens wearing really fugly hoodies.

I got to take a few road trips to Seattle to see friends - that was fun. I ate too many Top Pot doughnuts, bacon-filled waffles and Dick's burgers & fries. My arteries are glad we're no longer anywhere near Seattle.

After endless weeks of endless grey days, I learned that no amount of doughnuts, cookies, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, pancakes, waffles, fried waffles or bacon-filled fried waffles can abate the deep, bottomless sadness that overcomes me when I do not see the sun.

No one told us there wouldn't be sun. Not for that long. Even if I'd known, I'm not sure I could have even prepared for it other than unpack the truck and say Fuck NO to moving to Canada. Now the lack of energy and motivation (and obsession with hockey and beer) makes a little more sense.

The best part of 2009 was arriving back home to this amazing house, with all the kids in tow, back to our friends & family. Without experiencing the turd of Canada, we wouldn't have the deep appreciation of everything we have here. So, that's not entirely turdish. That might even be a gift.

Since we returned, I've gotten back to work fairly quickly and David found a new job at a good company after only a few interviews around town. Things aren't perfect, but we're very aware of how fortunate we are.

The cats are happy, the bird is happy, our family is happy and that's all we can ever ask for. I'm hoping for a lot of sun in 2010 and all good things for everyone. I'm even going to the dentist after a 10-year hiatus. Things are looking up.

Happy Holidays & Happy O-Ten!

Thanks, Christmas!

It's been a lovely holiday - lots of time relaxing with the furry/feathered kids and enjoying being home again in Alameda.

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See you all next Christmas!

Guilt Cookies

This year, perhaps because I was so happy to be back home for Christmas, I decided I'd be a Santa's Elf and deliver sugary treats to our neighbors - chocolate chip cookies for the kids & biscotti for the grownups.

I've never done this before. Most of our neighbors "keep to themselves," as I might tell a reporter one day after someone down the street tries to take out the whole block with a truck full of fertilizer. For the most part, we're a well-mannered quiet street of Wavers.

With full plates & bags of freshly-baked cookies I skipped across the street to where Crazy Bob used to live to deliver the goods to a quiet young couple with two kids. They moved in just as we were moving out and even after we moved back, we've never exchanged a single word. I'm starting to think we scare people.

The wife/mom answered the door and looked perplexed, wondering who the weirdo was handing out cookies dressed in warm ups, a flour-dusted t-shirt and Santa hat. I told her I was her across-the-street neighbor and she look chagrined. She thanked me profusely and I felt smug as I cheerfully said "Merry Christmas!" and skipped off to my next stop.

I went next door to the Curmudgeon's house and knocked on their door. They've lived there forever and knew my Nana before she moved on to a sweet condo in the sky. His wife answered wearing an awesome Christmas sweater and she looked shocked to see me. I handed her a gift bag of biscotti and chirped "Merry Christmas!" and she fumbled out an awkward "thank you." I skipped along to the next house.

Really, I was happy to spread some Christmas cheer. They're not bad neighbors, just a little aloof and/or sometimes kinda rude. We have other neighbors we talk to fairly often & it was great to see them & get caught up. It was a lovely part of my Christmas Eve.

As I was making breakfast the next morning, the doorbell rang, which was odd - I'm pretty sure our house is on a Run For Your Life list used by solicitors, Jehoshaphat's Witnesses & Mormons. David answered the door to see Curmudgeon's wife holding a plate of cookies. He said she couldn't get off the porch fast enough & back across the street.

David brought the cookies into the kitchen and while it was a really nice gesture, it looked like they'd been plucked out of the trash & hastily assembled on a festive plate. Even the plastic wrap was crumpled and resting on top of the cookies, no cling left in it to stick around the plate.

If they weren't Bin Cookies, they were very likely Regift Cookies, but they were definitely Guilt Cookies. I'll eat just about any cookie on the planet, but these were awful. They weren't just stale, the flavor made my mouth cry. We tried to find one that was edible but no luck. They're Bin Cookies now, but it was a sweet thought.

Next year I'm going to bring her a nice big bowl of soup & see what comes back.

Christmastime Again

Favorite Christmastime quote, said by a little kid at Rockefeller Center while being interviewed by Mary Gross on Saturday Night Live sometime in the mid-80s: "You know who I hate? Perry Como."

No one else saw that sketch which makes it all the more special - the memory is mine and mine alone.

This is always a weird time of year. I want to love it, but mostly I'm just overwhelmed and it's upon us and over in a flash. Every year I do less and less, which I really enjoy, but there's a lazy aspect to it I don't like.

I totally forgot about cards this year. Forgot them on purpose last year, 'cause we were in Canadia and it just seemed stupid to spend a dollar a stamp for Christmas cards that end up in the recycling bin. OK, actually, it just seemed like too much work. The lack of sunlight made lots of things feel like too much work. Blame Canada. I do.

But this year I actually forgot until a friend mentioned sending out cards. Cards? Like poker cards? Oh, wait, carrrrds. Right. Not gonna happen.

Last year we didn't even decorate until a few days before Christmas. It was just the two of us, far away from all our friends & family. Why bother? I hadn't even packed our Christmas stuff in the move. David asked if we could festive up the place, so I found a nice fake tree at Canadian Tire, some cheap plastic ornaments and threw it all together - BLAM - it's Christmas.

Sure didn't feel like it though. It was a weird time. Nice to be together, away from the rest of the world after all the time apart in '07 (when he was working in the UK - I hadn't kicked him out or anything), but it was lonely.

On Christmas Day, bored after so many days cooped up in the house, we went to see Gran Torino. Great holiday movie if you like tense, depressing stories. Drove home quietly in the snow and the dark. Heavy.

This year I did manage to decorate - put up TWO fake trees, fully decorated, and even found more stuff at Target. It looks a little like Christmas. Barely. I need to hire Jeff & Randy.






(a few shots of their incredible displays)

As we have in years past, we'll continue our No Stuff Christmas - no shopping for gifts of any kind - none, zip, zero. No more stuff. Food is OK (except fruitcake - that's not food) as are joke gifts that can be useful, such as ExLax, Rolaids, Correctol or Gas-X.

David started the gastrointestinal-themed gift pack a few years ago and it's a valuable tradition. When something goes wrong in that department and you can't run to the drugstore? No problem! My "Get Right Pack" saves the day!

A few weeks ago I tweeted that we should have the entire month of December off to enjoy the season and I mean it. There isn't enough time to prepare or visit with friends & family. The whole month should be full of festive parties, outings, drinks, cookies, pies and twinkly lights.

Sadly, I have to get back to work now. Merry Festivus.

Post HoHo Holiday Roundup

duplex in winter, poco, bc, canada

Here we are on the other side - January 2nd. Christmas/Festivus came and went in a flash and New Year's blew by in a blink - BLAM - done.

It was by far our weirdest holiday yet, a thousand miles away from home in a different country (sort of) without any family nearby. First holiday EVER not spent with family in some way.

David's company took a long holiday break which we've enjoyed by sleeping in (see previous post about hibernation), staying up late, doing our favorite thing of nothing, watching fun TV, learning to snowboard, playing in the snow, shoveling snow and watching the daily cat show (not in the snow).

I thought about posting more often, but my brain also took a long holiday break. There wasn't much to say other than "It's snowing. Again." or "It's raining. Again." I think I was depressed at one point for about 20 minutes, then I had another cup of coffee and felt better.

It's not so much the snow but the absence of the sun that's starting to take a toll. The days blur together and you can't distinguish one from another. There's no energy source to draw from. Everything looks grey.

The TV provides familiar comfort, as it did last night with a Lethal Weapon marathon. Oh the mullet - Mel's awesome mullet and tight, high-wasted jeans. And the open shirts. Or no shirt. Or the sweaty/wet-no-shirt-fist-fight. Fannntastic.

When Lethal Weapon 3 started David got up and went to bed. I tried to remind him that THIS was the one with Rene Russo and she's hot but he couldn't take any more. The mullet was bigger and the writing even more unbelievable than Mel's hair, but it felt like a big warm slice of home.

Remember when those movies came out? They were SO GOOD, weren't they? Weren't they? You know you loved them - loved them ALL.

Before winter's done I'll be looking for all the bad/good TV there is. It's one of my bestest friends. Happy New Year, eh?

Happy Christmas

It still doesn't *feel* like Christmas, but it helped to call the whole family and talk to parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews.

At one point the MagicJack crapped out - the phone just stopped working, demanding a break from the nonstop jawing.

But before that happened, I got a fantastic present from one of my nieces - one of many gifted children in the clan who told me English & Creative Writing is her favorite class - she's a junior in high school. That wasn't the present. Wait for it...

She's babysitting some kids in the neighborhood now and said one night they wanted her to tell them a story. She couldn't remember any stories so she started making them up. She told them a number of elaborate, lengthy stories that they loved, yet still they wanted more.

Tired of coming up with new stories, she instead told them the story of Beverly Hills Cop. I couldn't stop laughing.

Merry Christmas Bloggers!

Sweet Chocolate Christmas

It's almost Christmas. How the frick did that happen? Are you sure? Now? It's happening now? This week? Serious? But it was just August! Where's August? Who took my summer?

I keep thinking I should make some cards. Bake some biscotti. Tomorrow. Next week. There's time. Got lotsa time. NOPE. Time's UP!

No cards, no cookies. I'll get to it. Maybe by April. Sure.

Somehow I managed to get a small tree and set that up, but had I not walked by it at the store when I was there for something else, I doubt that would have happened.

Even without the madness of shopping for gifts it all comes up too fast and I can't seem to make the time to get it done. It's like trying to mail something.

If I have to find a box, put the thing in the box, put some padding in the box, tape it up, put the address info on it, THEN leave the house and take it to the post office, OMIGOD it's just too much and how does anyone ever mail anything it's sooooooo haaaaaaaaard!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Why can't I pay attention to the calendar and be more on top of these things? I can take on all kinds of work, but can't keep up with what should be the fun stuff.

I'll probably never be on top of all the fun stuff, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of my friends and family and wishing them all sorts of holiday cheer.

I am, and I do. Merry Festivus!

p.s. Happy Birthday Ms. Crafty! Wish I could take you to Town Hall for a "Dohthee Pahkah."

Elfintastic Holiday!

Thank you Ms.Crafty!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Merry Festivus!

Have a rockin' great holiday! Like Rooty, we're running behind this year, but that doesn't mean we don't love you.

We're thinking of you, and it's the thought that counts, right? Right. So enjoy all our warm, cheerful thoughts - we don't have them often.

And as a special gift, Nikita caught a moth and ate it for you - isn't she sweet? Now that's a gift from the heart.

OK then, have a wonderful Festivus and we'll be back soon.
Love to all y'all!

All Hail Festivus

This might be the best Christmas since I was 7 years old. Not because I'm drinking enough spiked nog to once again believe in Santa, but maybe because this year we decided -- with full family support and agreement -- to not buy any gifts. Food items are allowed, but no "stuff."

Without the stress of shopping for umpteen people and worrying about the ginormous cost of that, it's felt more like Christmas this year than in the past 20 (or 30, if we're being truthful about age).

And this relaxed, festive feeling comes without taking time off work. You can't miss the energy of the season when you're downtown around the decorations, shoppers & tourists. Ice skating at lunch helps, too, as does driving around town to see the decorated homes.

Even though it comes up faster every year, we've been able to slow down and truly enjoy it before it's gone in the blink of an eye. Time for some more nog.