Terms of Use

Consent To Use of The Nootsmaak
This blog ("The Nootsmaak") is owned and operated by J. Loring, courtesy of Blogger, and is solely intended for the author's amusement and/or therapeutic purposes. Please read the following terms and conditions carefully and completely before using The Nootsmaak.

By using The Nootsmaak and the links accessible through The Nootsmaak, you expressly agree to be bound by these terms and conditions and any other terms and conditions set out throughout The Nootsmaak. If you cannot tolerate the content contained within The Nootsmaak, we require that you move on immediately or return to non upsetting activities like macramé or tree hugging. Rake some sand. Rock in a dark corner.

The information, materials, resources, rants, raves, photos, expressions, and/or psychic predictions contained on and accessible through The Nootsmaak are made available to you by J. Loring (via Blogger), and are subject to your agreement to the terms and conditions listed herein.

If you do not agree with these Terms of Use, please do not use The Nootsmaak. Go away and leave The Nootsmaak to people who enjoy reading blogs and using their words.

It is a condition of your use of The Nootsmaak that you do not restrict or inhibit any other user from using The Nootsmaak. If we find out your inhibitions in any way have affected another's ability to use The Nootsmaak, you will be force fed tequila until you're wearing your skirt as a hat while attempting to eat an economy-sized jar of martini olives.

Privacy Statement
All personal information that you, as a user, provide to The Nootsmaak will very likely not be kept confidential and protected. If you submit comments and they are not deleted by the power of absolute corruption, you waive your right to any sort of protection.

Linking Policy
Written permission is not required to create a link from an external Web site to The Nootsmaak or any pages within The Nootsmaak. In fact, outside linking is welcomed and The Nootsmaak may provide reciprocate linking. The Nootsmaak would like to thank Al Gore for creating the ability to provide such tricky "hyper linking."

Restrictions on Use of Materials/Information on The Nootsmaak
Only personal use of The Nootsmaak is permitted, which means that you may access, download, or print such materials for your personal, non-commercial use only. You agree not to change or delete any copyright or proprietary notice from materials downloaded from The Nootsmaak or any site accessible through The Nootsmaak.

Without the prior written permission of The Nootsmaak, aka J. Loring, you may not publish, copy, reproduce, distribute, transfer, upload, post, transmit, or otherwise use any materials contained on The Nootsmaak, or any materials accessible through The Nootsmaak, in whole or in part.

Requests for J. Loring's permission to publish, copy, reproduce, distribute, transfer, or otherwise use The Nootsmaak should be e-mailed to J. Loring along with links to high quality camera equipment at deep discount prices.

Disclaimer
All information provided on The Nootsmaak is intended for use as a writing outlet for J. Loring and for your general amusement and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment or for the care that you might receive from your shaman. Nothing on this site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your palm reader before beginning a new Ouija board game or if you have any questions about a strange feeling. You should not disregard the urge to urinate or delay emptying your bladder because of something you read on The Nootsmaak.

Links to Other Internet Sites and/or Blogs
The Nootsmaak includes links to other sites created by various and sundry quirky and/or disturbing sources. Be aware that The Nootsmaak does not endorse, control, makes no guarantees about, and disclaims any express or implied representations or warranties about the accuracy, relevance, timeliness, completeness, or appropriateness for a particular purpose of the information or the resources contained on these or any other Internet sites.

Further, the inclusion of these links is intended neither to reflect the importance of these other sites nor to endorse any of the views expressed in, or products or services offered by, these other sites. They're just links. If you click the link, you're on your own - i.e. you click solely at your own risk. Let's all act like grown ups and not get tweaky should we end up on a site we're just not sure about and that may cause feelings of slight discomfort.

Limitation of Liability
To the maximum extent permitted by the suits, in no event shall The Nootsmaak or content linked therein be liable for any direct, indirect, special (not "short bus" special), punitive, incidental, exemplary, or consequential damages, or any damages whatsoever, resulting from any loss of use, boredom, business interruption, litigation, or any other pecuniary loss, whether based on breach of contract, tort (including negligence), arising out of or in any way connected with the use or performance of The Nootsmaak.

You acknowledge and agree that the limitations set forth above are fundamental elements of this agreement and The Nootsmaak would not be provided to you absent such limitations.

Indemnification
You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless The Nootsmaak and its related content and links from any liability, loss, claim, and expense (including reasonable attorneys' fees) related to your violation of these terms and conditions.

Changes to The Nootsmaak
Information on The Nootsmaak site may be changed or updated without notice. Hormones are entirely unpredictable and therefore no assurances can be made regarding appropriateness of tone or emotional maturity of any posts contained herein.

The Nootsmaak has no obligation to update information presented on this blog, so information contained herein may be out of date at any given time. Being gainfully employed restricts availability to make constant updates to The Nootsmaak, which is likely a good thing, or else The Nootsmaak would be littered with posts describing trips to the supermarket, cat feeding, weed pulling, and vacuuming.

The Nootsmaak may modify this Agreement at any time, and such modifications shall be effective immediately upon posting of the modified terms and conditions. Accordingly, you agree to review the terms and conditions periodically, and your continued use of The Nootsmaak shall be deemed your acceptance of the modified terms and conditions.

For Future Employers
You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless The Nootsmaak (and its author and friends mentioned herein) and its related content and links from any potential loss of future employment (of The Nootsmaak) based on the content contained on The Nootsmaak.

The Nootsmaak believes in healthy, productive, and direct communication and would never intentionally dis or libel any person, persons, friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers, or Bart train operators.

The Nootsmaak is a star performer in every job she's had, from hardware store clerk to account executive/producer, has impeccable ethics, and believes in doing the right thing and associates with like-minded people who share these values. The Nootsmaak also rescues stray cats, donates to charity, volunteers in the community, bakes wicked-good cookies, weeds the front yard, and maintains exemplary personal hygiene.

Miscellaneous
These terms and conditions and the resolution of any dispute related to these terms and conditions on this site shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of Neptune, without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of law. Any legal action or proceeding between The Nootsmaak and you related to these terms and conditions on this site shall be brought exclusively in an intergalactic court of competent jurisdiction sitting in the revnar of the lormat of Neptune, or the ancillary revnar district of the closest orbiting moon.