Start Making Sense

Art is hard. Or maybe just a lot of hooey. Or maybe some of each. Or maybe I still have no clue about anything.

Being a straightforward person, it's sometimes difficult to look at an object - something to photograph - and look for ways to "transform" that object into something else. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it can be fun to go abstract altogether.

The thing is, I'm getting kind of irritated by hearing people say, "how can [the thing] be [essentially] not at all like the thing?" and I get that, to some degree, but sometimes I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT'S THAT THING. THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE PICTURE. For me, anyway.

The other thing is, it's all subjective. There are some rules, but in the end, it comes down to what every individual will pull from the work - everyone will see something different. Though I've noticed, during class critiques, there is an *awful* lot of BS bandied about... People trying to talk about art or sound like they know how to talk about art - it's often painful to sit through.

Also painful is the idea that one has to choose a specific direction or concept. For example, after a marathon class reviewing everyone's contact sheets (six hours total), I received the following note from my instructor: "It looks like you still don't know what you're interested in." My negatives included all sorts of subjects - clouds, murals, still lifes, landscapes, urban decay, night shots of people on the street, classic car shows and a doll with a sad substance abuse problem.

Are you kidding me? I'm interested in everything! Was that not obvious? Is that not a good thing? After reviewing our notes, I said to her, "I may not ever have a single thing I'm interested in, and I think that's fine." What an entirely unhelpful comment. Why not find one thing she liked and tell me to explore that more fully? I'd have been happy to see that. That would have been helpful.

I should add - the point of the class was to learn old skool color printing and color theory for photography. Of course, we should be stretching our creative muscles whilst shooting roll after roll of film to fulfill the assignments, but most days it's all about getting it done - on time - with the highest quality.

If the point of the class was to create mind-blowing artistic work the likes of which the world has never seen before, then OK - lay it on me. But it wasn't. So keep that in mind when you're nitpicking what I've shot. (To be fair, she gave me an A, so I shouldn't bitch - yet I do...)

Sometimes I prefer to make quirky or silly images - Barbie and Dawn dolls have become some of my favorite subjects. But I've noticed those projects don't garner much of a reaction - not with instructors. Classmates seem to enjoy them, which is the point - they got it - they're meant to be enjoyed. But then does that disqualify it as art?

Why can't the Dawn doll look like a Dawn doll deep in the tragic grip of an oxycontin & tequila addiction? To "transform" her to look more human (with ridiculous macro/depth of field) would just make it weird, or sad. To me, the point is, it's a doll. A doll with a nasty drug problem. That's funny to me. I don't want her "transformed" to look like anything other than the pink plastic junkie that she is.

Admittedly, I still have a long way to go to making sense of all this, but I'm hoping that if I ever do become an "artist," that I won't have to leave my straightforward sensibilities behind, or avoid humor. That so much of what I see, all over campus, is devoid of humor is troubling. Y'all need to lighten the fuck up and have some fun. Isn't that the point of all this?

So, About That Job...

...The one I mentioned a few posts back... I had a little photo shoot a few weeks ago that I couldn't talk about, but now it's old news. And if you cruise my Flickr photostream, you already know the scoop.

I was hired to get a head shot of Kay Ryan, our new poet laureate, who lives in Fairfax, but I couldn't tell anyone until the official announcement was made (which I think was last Thursday).

She is so nice and really funny - it was an honor to work with her and I was thrilled to do this for the Library of Congress.

Check it out on Time.com.

No Vomiting Required

The other day I went on my "go see," as it could be called, to do a walkthrough of a property and think about how I might want to shoot it, but it was really a go-see for them - to look at my book to decide if I'm right for the job.

I was not. And while it's never any fun to lose work, I have to say, it was a relief. I can probably blame it on my horrific gaffe of leaving the last few pages of a portfolio empty. Those of you with art backgrounds are likely gasping at my rookie mistake, but I did not go to art school and have had no training in such things.

That said, this was billed as an informal walkthrough to look at the property and decide what we wanted to shoot and discuss scheduling, time of day, etc. And meet the homeowner.

I brought a book of samples so the agents and the homeowner could see a range of work, but it was not intended to be a formal presentation. I filled most of the pages of a very nice album with work I thought represented the best I had to show. The remaining pages will be filled when I have more work to put in them, but for now they're going to stay empty.

After a pleasant tour of the property with one of the agents, we gathered around the dining room table and made small talk while looking through marketing packages for other properties - all of which were full of terrible photos printed on crappy paper.

The homeowner, some "famous" artist and art-directing marketing dude, was telling a zany, HI-larious story about being at a party where he made a beeline for the host's bookshelf that had "sex books" on it, as he described them, to find out which books had the pages stuck together. Klassy.

He continued in some graphic detail about how those pages could become stuck together. Perhaps that was his way of reassuring us that *he* understood how that could happen, though I don't think the rest of us needed the explanation.

After our short trip back to 7th grade, the agents looked through my book and they all had very nice things to say about my work. Then an agent slid the book over to the homeowner and asked him if he wanted to take a look. He absent-mindedly replied “What? Sure…” and commenced flipping through the pages.

He flipped through all the photos and when he got to the empty pages, he looked up and asked me, “Is this yours?” Like I brought someone else’s book or he wasn’t just asked moments ago if he wanted to see MY work. I replied, Yes, it is, and staring right through me he said, with the gravity of a doctor delivering very bad news, “Don’t ever do this. Don’t ever leave blank pages in the book. Either fill them up or rip them out.”

He then smiled weakly and said he just wanted to help me out, to which I enthusiastically said, “Oh definitely – thank you very much!” What a nice way to be helped by someone who, just moments ago, explained to everyone how jacking off into a book might make the pages stick together.

I mean, it's nice to get input and I would love to have my work critiqued by a professional, but it just seemed out of place. Not only that, but if he's such a brilliant artist, can he not see that those empty pages represent future potential yet to be fulfilled? Was he confused when he turned the page and there were no more pretty pictures? He needs the back cover of the book to tell him the show's over?

I think I dodged a bullet by losing that project. Lord knows how many colossal blunders I'd have made while shooting that job, with him bivouacked in my colon the entire time to tell me about every single one. Thank you, Universe.

No Pressure [vomit]

I just finished talking to an agent about a couple of properties, hearing about the architectural attributes of each and things we'll need to keep in mind for the shoot, etc. - nothing out of the ordinary - until he told me that one of these homes has been photographed by a number of "famous" photographers, including Queen Elizabeth II's photographer.

Maybe I should know who that is, but I don't, and now all I want to do is throw up and purge this intense feeling of dread I have about this job.

What the hell am I walking into? Have they SEEN the work I do? I mean, I dearly love my cat photos and snapshots of partially eaten food and melted gummy bears on the sidewalk, but I'm not sure QE II would hire me. Then again, the British do tend to have an exceptional sense of humor... but I digress.

I feel like I'm being set up. I don't know if I can even start to come close to what this guy might be expecting. I'm sure it'll be a valuable learning experience and I'll do what I can, but it's going to be hard to get good shots while vomiting and shaking uncontrollably.

Addicted to the Faux Knife

I think I'm addicted to plastic photoshop surgery. It all started with a passport photo...

I had to get my passport renewed, and rather than go to the trouble to shoot my own, I though it would be faster and easier to have it done at a postal store. Then I saw the photo.

Wow - it's like there are special cameras built with WideFace, BaggyEye technology. We saw similar results in photos taken on last year's cruise. We'd never looked more pasty and bloated, and that was before all those nights of good food.

There was no way I could live with such a terrible photo for the next ten years - yup - I'm totally vain. Back to the "home studio," which entails setting up the camera on a tripod in the bathroom - the only room in the house with a white door that will work for the approved background.

And the nice thing about shooting in the bathroom, aside from the ease of making pit stops at any moment, is the handy mirrors, brushes, makeup, etc. The tough part is getting the focus right, since I don't have a remote cable/control, so the solution is to use a trusty teddy bear.

Standing halfway between the camera and the backdrop, I hold the bear up where my head will be, then press the shutter down (on a timer), and then quickly stand where the teddy bear was just "standing."

It only took about 13 tries, but I got something I could use. Then I did a little post-processing to remove any unsightly blemishes. While I was at it, I realized I still had those pesky bags under my eyes. Hmm...

A few clicks later - bagless eyes. That was easy. Clear skin AND no dark circles and bags, all without surgery or injections, swelling or pain. It's all maybe a little *too* easy...

So, we went from this: to this:

And for the eye surgery, we went from this:

To this:

It's subtle, but I was very pleased with the results. So much so, that I've been doctoring other photos for practice, and now it seems I can't stop.

The problem now, though, is that when anyone compares the real thing to the photo, they're going to think I've been on a three-day bender or it's time for another trip to the plastic surgeon.

Wear The Hat

Like a dumbass, yesterday I decided not to wear the hat I'd brought with me while hiking through wooded areas of northern California. I didn't think we'd be out there for almost 3 hours!

I realized last night that my eyes were sunburned when I couldn't stop blinking in an effort to alleviate the mild burning sensation. It was so mild, I just thought my eyes were dry, but then I realized what happened.

My right eye feels like it has sand in it, but the left one, behind the camera most of the day, feels OK today. Man, if it's not one thing...

While hiking through the property we found this - check out the tusks!

Drunk on Beautiful Design

Today I photographed a beautiful home in SF and every room was oozing with meticulous, satisfying designey goodness.

I'd be happy just living in the kitchen with the gorgeous marble counter tops and built-in buffet/bar, restaurant-grade Wolf range complete with water spigot, and enough counter space to perform surgery on at least 8 average-sized adults simultaneously.


The little girl's room looked to me like what Clara's bedroom might look like, in The Nutcracker. I wanted to be 5 again and grow up in that room. When I closed the door to get a different angle, I saw that she had two pairs of small angel wings hanging on the doorknob.


Maybe I could ask them to adopt me until David returns from his trip.

Photography Training

And I don't mean reviewing f-stops and bracketing.

I had a big job on Friday and by Thursday morning, I realized I'd been preparing for it much like I might a triathlon.

Months earlier I was doing research and talking to other people who have done similar jobs, looking for helpful tips or recommendations. I also enlisted a partner, a very gracious CCraig.

Two weeks before the event we did a scouting trip to check out lighting, possible setups, parking availability and discussed general logistics.

I told my clients I would be unavailable on the day before and day of the event to ensure my schedule would remain stress-free so I could think only about the photo gig.

Early in the week before the job I tracked down all my equipment and gadgets and put them all in one place. A few days later I started charging batteries, organizing lenses, formatting memory cards - making sure I had everything I thought I would need.

Mid week I tested all the equipment, reviewed our test shots from the scouting trip and thought about how to pack it all up in the most logical fashion.

Thursday morning I went for a walk/run and took it easy - it was hot out and I'm still very out of shape - I wanted to get some energy from it, but not get too tired. Thursday afternoon/evening I packed up all my gear in my sweet, rolling bag.

After putting a water bottle into the freezer for the next day, I went to bed early Thursday night and took my time getting out of bed Friday morning. Spent the morning exchanging emails with friends then looked through my wardrobe options.

Another hot day, so the outfit had to be cool & comfortable, but not too casual. Shoes also had to be nice, but comfortable.

When it was time for lunch I thought carefully about what to eat. It needed to have adequate protein for staying power, but not too heavy, and good carbs for extended energy. I made a whole grain pasta dish with albacore tuna.

I grabbed my frozen water bottle out of the freezer and got cleaned up and ready to go. I headed out with all my equipment in tow, bridge toll ready on the dashboard. I was prepared, rested, nourished and well-hydrated.

Now all I had to do was get the shots.

Sound crazy? Probably, but it was a wedding shoot, which I've never done before. For a friend.

Most jobs don't require quite so much thought & planning, but I was hoping all the prep would help me get some good shots for my friends. I think I got a few... so I think it was worth it.

I'm a Dumbass

Not this little guy - me - I'm the dumbass.

I'm in Oregon at the moment and just after arriving, looked through my bag for a pair of sweatpants and other warm layers and found none.

I must have been sleep-packing, because I packed t-shirts but no sweaters, no fleece, nothing warmer than a sweatshirt, and nothing to lounge around the house in.

Clearly, my vitamins aren't working or they can't stop my brain from dissolving and running out my nose with every sneeze.

On a positive note, the opening at the museum was a big success and that night I was commissioned to get more wildlife shots. I spent some time there yesterday watching a lively river otter swim all around his pond - otters have the coolest paws - and getting new shots of the lynx and bobcat. It was hard not to get in there and snuggle with them.

Off To a Quick Start

2007 is getting busy. I'm heading up to Oregon at the end of this month to meet the other volunteer museum photographers & sync up on the show.

I still need to finish my submission prep and send that up. Then I have another shoot for the food bank. And I need to remember to keep showing up at my day job.

It will soon be time to disengage from the corporate teat. It's nice security, but at this point, I'm not sure the security is making up for the soul-sucking despair.

I could always go back to waitressing. Tips AND a square meal - not too shabby.

My Navin Moment

As in, Navin Johnson... Who after finding his name in the new phone book said, "Things are going to start happening to me now..." And then the shooting started. "He hates these cans!!!"

Not only does my work continue to be published in our little local magazine, in this month's issue on the back page they included a little blurb about me. So cool! That's all I needed for Christmas.

And I'm waiting to hear back from Oregon's High Desert Museum about a possible photo exhibit next March - not sure if I'll be included, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Now if only my new lens would hurry up & get here...

Just Another Floor Tile

She sat still just long enough at the same moment I happened to be holding a camera... doesn't happen very often.

Fun with flickr

I'm having the best time online since Mozilla put out the first web browser. Spent a good chunk of time today organizing photos, joining groups, looking at photos from other shooters and feeling a sense of community I didn't think existed anymore.

Great inspiration to be found in all the amazing work shared by users from all over the world. It's wonderful to be able to see so much of the world through so many different sets of eyes & lenses.