Early Kidney Disease

In cats... anyone know anything about this and how to help treat it homeopathically?

The vet called this morning with results from the blood work done yesterday on the boys - Neo's was "beautiful" - love to hear that.

But Ninja, the 11-year-old wolverine they had to subdue with two powerful sedatives just to do an exam, supposedly has "early kidney disease."

That might explain the clumps of litter the size of a baby.

The vet said he should be switched to a low-protein diet - still canned food, but lower protein and a different balance of minerals to help the kidneys.

And to think I fed him that kibble shit for so many years. Sorry Ninjey.

I just read something online that cats dealing with kidney disease should not have any vaccines, though yesterday he was shot up with rabies and distemper vaccines.

Not sure if there's any merit to avoiding the vaccines, but it does seem ridiculous to put all that shit in his system when he's exclusively indoor and has almost zero risk of exposure to either pathogen.

I have the sneaking suspicion that most vets are just like most doctors. They do the same shit over and over again without really thinking about what they're doing or why they might be doing it, and the good ones are very hard to find.

They also want to clean his teeth. Not sure if it's worth the bother and the stress (physically and emotionally) to put him under and have his mouth scraped to hell. Anesthesia doesn't seem like a good idea at this point.

Every day brings a new challenge. We'll figure it out. If you have any info to share, please pass it along. Mr. Bitey thanks you.

Dear Muslim Extremists

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We hope you enjoyed these vaginas.
Love,
500 Vaginas

Shake Neck Slimmer Weight

I'm totally getting this. And this.

Cheater

Something happened yesterday. I'm not proud of it. I also can't explain how it happened. OK, maybe I can explain it a little, but most of it is still a total mystery.

We took a day trip yesterday, the first sunny day in four hundred years, and I may have been drunk on sunlight and didn't know it.

Rather than waste any time getting on our way, we stopped at Peet's for breakfast. I had a Kashi bar in my purse and it's still there, under my wallet, sunscreen, Orbit gum and a tampon.

I had a delicious almond croissant with my Peet's half & half. Whatever - what's a little frangipane going to hurt? Put it with all the butter in the croissant - what insulin? Plus, it felt like Christmas my birthday and the last day of school all in one - the sun was finally out! PARTY!

We continued on our way to the Marin Headlands to explore & hike around. Spent three or four hours goofing off by the bridge, the abandoned military installations and the beach, then made our way to San Anselmo for lunch.

I *wanted* pancakes and waffles but I *got* the turkey burger. I didn't even eat my fries. Then we left Bubba's and David said he'd really wanted a shake and wished he'd gotten one.


On the way home we passed a shopping center that had a Ben & Jerry's in it. I pulled over so he could get a fix. We cruised through the parking lot and a new store caught my eye. I said I would like to have a look in that store and see what's what.

This is where it gets blurry. I may have gone into said store and immediately joined the excited, jubilant line of eager customers waiting to spy the goods on display in the brightly lit case. I may have been asked what I would like and I might have asked for two cupcakes to go while wiping drool off my face.

It all happened so fast. It's like I wasn't there, but someone told me about it later with such detail that it feels like I was there.

We got into the car, David with a brownie and me with a beautiful little box of treasures. I put down the box and said to David, "I just bought SUGAR!" WTF?

Once home, we cut them up to share and POOF - gone. Just like that. Resolution totally annihilated. I made it 21 days without sugar, caffeine or booze. I'm still off the booze, but now that just seems silly.

But, and this is a very good but - this morning David said he's giving up coke zero. After years of trying to get him to just take a break from it, he's decided to give it up.

So, in honor of that, I'm going back to my no sugar (or almost none) plan, but I will have the occasional fully-leaded coffee and by the end of the month I'll go back to my one-drink-a-week benders.

You gotta live, right?


p.s. the mocha was *amazing* - the double chocolate, meh... next time... red velvet.

Effing S.A.D.

she's so happy she's going to eat the whole bowl of fruit!

I used to think it was funny that someone came up with "Seasonal Affective Disorder" to make "sad" sound less pathetic and more like an actual, clinical diagnosis, but I'm not laughing now.

That shit is real, and now I blame Canada for making it especially bad. Fucking Canada. I also picked the wrong month to stop eating doughnuts.

If I could open a vein and shove a dozen doughnuts in there along with a pot of coffee, I would do it. I have a Cuisinart.

At first I thought it was just the lack of sugar and my serotonin levels were all frakked up. Then I thought it was my ever-volatile hormones pickling my brain. Now I'm pretty sure it's just winter - that shitty, shitty bitch.

Living in the Bay Area, we usually don't get much "winter." We might get a few storms that can knock a bird turd off the hood of my car, but that's about it.

Supposedly there's an El Niño this year - that's Spanish for "THE Niño" - and "the storm door is open," so we just had a shit ton of storms come through, one after the other for about a week. It seems like it's been much longer.

I love the rain, especially a fierce storm with thunder and lightning. What I don't love is having to turn on all the lights in the house at 10am.

The depression kicked in again this week - just enough to kill any shred of motivation I might have had to be productive in some way, but not so much that I couldn't eventually find a way to put on pants and drag my ass to the store, which I did today only because the cats were out of food and YOU DO NOT RUN OUT OF CAT FOOD if you want to keep the skin on your face.

Now I understand the desire to take a pill - any pill - if it might bring relief from the endless inertia and apathy.

Rather than take a pill, I went to a trusted remedy - caffeine and sugar. That's right - I broke my resolution and had fully-leaded Peet's coffee and a granola bar with cane juice and chocolate. I had to. I couldn't wear that fleece robe one minute longer and watch any more bad TV. After a while it's no longer comforting, it's just lame.

I tried just the caffeine first, trying to avoid the stronger drug - sugar. After some Peet's half caf I didn't feel any different, but the delicious flavor made the drive to Pet Club a little less boring.

By the time I got to Trader Joe's I was feeling a little better, but bought the chocolate-coated chewy granola bars anyway. Popped one of those with the last of the coffee and sure as shit, I'm feeling fine now.

Some of you might be thinking, Oh Nootsie, you should have just laced up your trainers and gone out for a run, and to that I say go run yourself into an oncoming train.

When I was *sooper* depressed a couple of weeks ago and posted something about it on Facebook, someone said I should "do some cardio! it totally helps!" You can shove your cardio in your ass.

If you've ever been depressed, you don't just "do some cardio!" Depression precludes doing just about anything. And the shit running through your head keeps you heading farther down the rabbit hole - it's like a virus that replicates faster than you can try to kill it.

Thankfully, mine only gets so bad and I know it's temporary and I know it'll pass and I know I can still function if I have to and I know if I really need to, a little caffeine and carbs can help, but it doesn't make it any easier when I'm in that hole.

Maybe I'll break down and buy that incredibly ugly lamp for SADful people, then bask in its glow with a vat of Peet's and a case of Krispy Kremes until spring comes.

Reindeer Games

(here's Mr. Reindeer under the tree with his friend, Christmas Talosian)

Christmas is over for us but will go on forever for the cats.

While decorating the house this year I found a little stuffed reindeer toy in one of the boxes - a gift from someone at some point, it doesn't do much but it's cute, so I propped him under the tree.

A few nights after getting all the decorations up, I found the toy in the bathroom. Seems "someone" (Neo) found him and claimed him, then dragged him off to 'kill' him on the fuzzy bathroom rug.


(slain on the bathroom rug)


(on another night, slain on the bathmat)

I returned the reindeer to the tree and the next day found him in the kitchen. No matter how many times I put the toy back under the tree, the next day it would be gone, dragged off to some other part of the house.


(left just outside our bedroom - a gift)

Now the reindeer is sufficiently coated in Neo spit and dust and will remain a cat toy for the rest of its life. Probably more fun than living in a box in the basement.


The Christmas Talosian knows all.

Spastic Dreams

Lately I'm having a lot of vivid and strange dreams. It's probably from too many vegetables & fruit instead of sugar.

This morning's still has me out of sorts. I was hanging out with someone I used to date. He was more like a blend of guys I've dated in an unfamiliar body. The spirit was familiar but the face was vague.

He started out harmless but became progressively sinister. He was running errands around town and I was tagging along, but we were not having a good time. We were bickering and after a while I realized I needed to get away.

We ended up at someone's house - a mcmansion-type house in the suburbs. Walking up to the house, I could see into the open garage a set of golf clubs strewn on the ground. I knew he was going to use one of those clubs to beat the shit out of me.

Then I woke up.

There have been many others, but mostly fun up til now. I loved the one where I was "skiing" on flat, red sand in Australia on short, wide skis and I was able to get up to to extremely high speeds just by turning side to side. Would love to go back to that one.

Then there was the one where I was a lesbian with a long-term partner, who wasn't David (duh) and he wasn't too happy about that (contrary to porn movie plots). That one was actually pretty sad. But he reassured me (while fully conscious) that he wasn't going anywhere.

I might need a cupcake pretty soon.

That Was Rough

Day 9 - feeling MUCH better. Got some exercise, good food, lots of sleep and quality time with David. I knew the sadfulness would pass, but it was a long, dreary week. It's felt like a month, really.

It hasn't been difficult to avoid sugar & caffeine (and booze), that's actually been easy. The depressed mood wasn't easy, but it makes sense.

Remember the super low-fat, high-carb diets of the 80s? I ate like that for years, especially being a runner - it's drilled into your head to avoid fat & load up on bagels, pasta, bread, etc.

It's a reasonable assumption that eating like that for many years can alter how your body produces & uses serotonin. At any rate, now that I've cut all that out, shit's been wonky but seems to be settling into a new rhythm.

The sugar cravings are gone - totally gone. This afternoon I stopped at Peet's for a cup of decaf and didn't gaze longingly into the pastry case. I used to *love* snacking on citrus bread or a maple scone with my coffee - didn't even think of it.

Now it seems like I'm craving vegetables and "clean" food, even when it's cold and foggy out. Last year at this time I was eating my weight in steaks, pork chops and potatoes - couldn't get enough. Didn't touch a salad for months. Nothing green. Green does not help insulate you from the bone-chilling cold (and boredom) of a Canadian winter.

And now I seem to be dreaming a lot more - really vivid dreams. Actual nighttime sleepy type dreams, not the I want to find a billion dollars in my bank account type dreams, which, if you're listening Universe, get to it - make it happen.

Hope the good feeling continues. If so, I may stay off sugar forever.

Serotonin Free

It's Day 8 and I'm still off sugar, booze and caffeine. Although it's impossible to be totally caffeine-free unless I give up decaf coffee, which I'm not going to do, so you can blow me.

It's been that sort of week. I thought it was PMS, which I want to think is mostly to blame, but now I'm DMS and usually by this point the mood issues are long gone.

Today was difficult. If we didn't have TV, I'd have spent the whole day staring at the wall. I did that once years ago when I lived in the Western Addition in a haunted house and my car got totaled and I couldn't quickly get the heck outta town. That wasn't a good time.

It hasn't gotten that bad, but today was the most depressed I've felt in a long time. I didn't think I ate that much sugar every day, but I definitely went on a bender during the holidays.

Way too many biscotti, chocolate chip cookies of all sorts, lemon tarts, pumpkin pies, and some dastardly petit fours from Trader Joe's in ridiculously delicious deep chocolate flavors.

I was bingeing like a drug addict right before checking into rehab. I wondered if I might be making a big mistake by doing that.

I'd started the decaf process in mid-December - I knew how painful cold turkey would be - but now I think I'm really starting to feel it. I'm getting that withdrawal headache in the afternoons and yawning. A LOT.

Thankfully the headache is mild, nothing like the cold-turkey variety that makes you want to saw your head off with a Leatherman and pour hot coffee into your skull.

The one bright spot is losing 2 lbs without even trying. That helps make some of the sadfulness worth it. If that keeps up, I'll gladly watch more bad TV while crumpled on the couch crying softly into my blankie.

Holiday Newsletter - in January!

And you thought the holidays were over. Not true! Our fake tree is still up - two trees, in fact - the tree we got in Canada last year and the old tree we'd left in the basement.

This year I even bought more decorations the day after Christmas - 50% off! - first time I've ever done that. I seriously considered putting up lighted wreaths, pathway trees and garlands all around the house that weekend. Maybe this weekend.

So, a Holiday Newsletter...

In a nutshell, 2009 was mostly a giant steaming pile of turds. But it did have a few high points. Leaving Canada was one of them, as was getting Henry home safely, which almost didn't happen - the biggest turd of the pile.

Early in the year we knew David's job in the Great White (grey) North wouldn't last - layoffs were happening every month or so. For a few weeks he came home every night not knowing how much longer he'd have a job. Turds.

I took on the new job of full-time housewife and I did not win any housewifing awards. I did cook a lot more and cleaned a few things and every week successfully forced myself to go to the grocery store. Turns out I'm not so good at housewifing.

I watched a LOT of Felicity and The Dog Whisperer. Maybe too much. But I learned a LOT about dog psychology and why Ben was ultimately the better choice over Noel. Noel and Felicity are just too similar - not enough chemistry. Ben challenges Felicity in a way Noel never could. Wait, what were we talking about?

Right - 2009 turds. So, about Canada... If you're a regular reader of The Nootsmaak, you're already familiar with the steaming turds of Canada. Suffice it to say, it wasn't the right place for us. Or anyone with a shred of ambition or energy. Or anyone who enjoys sunlight. Or anyone who dislikes mold and mildew. Or anyone who knows how to drive.

With David's job slowly slipping away, it was an easy decision to pack the french up and move the toast home. I found out a couple of weeks ago that the company he was working for shut down in early December. Good thing we didn't stick around to see what might happen. What a sad, sad Christmas that would have been. Turds.

As turdish as the whole adventure could be at times, David and I enjoyed many quiet nights together watching Don Cherry on Hockey Night in Canada (government mandated) and not eating poutine. Ever.

We explored parts of Vancouver tourists never see, with good reason. We saw black bears around the neighborhood - David saw many more than I while riding his bike throughout the area. And I saw many, many Canadian teens wearing really fugly hoodies.

I got to take a few road trips to Seattle to see friends - that was fun. I ate too many Top Pot doughnuts, bacon-filled waffles and Dick's burgers & fries. My arteries are glad we're no longer anywhere near Seattle.

After endless weeks of endless grey days, I learned that no amount of doughnuts, cookies, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, pancakes, waffles, fried waffles or bacon-filled fried waffles can abate the deep, bottomless sadness that overcomes me when I do not see the sun.

No one told us there wouldn't be sun. Not for that long. Even if I'd known, I'm not sure I could have even prepared for it other than unpack the truck and say Fuck NO to moving to Canada. Now the lack of energy and motivation (and obsession with hockey and beer) makes a little more sense.

The best part of 2009 was arriving back home to this amazing house, with all the kids in tow, back to our friends & family. Without experiencing the turd of Canada, we wouldn't have the deep appreciation of everything we have here. So, that's not entirely turdish. That might even be a gift.

Since we returned, I've gotten back to work fairly quickly and David found a new job at a good company after only a few interviews around town. Things aren't perfect, but we're very aware of how fortunate we are.

The cats are happy, the bird is happy, our family is happy and that's all we can ever ask for. I'm hoping for a lot of sun in 2010 and all good things for everyone. I'm even going to the dentist after a 10-year hiatus. Things are looking up.

Happy Holidays & Happy O-Ten!

Day 4, Sugar Free & Sobbing

Day 4 is almost over and it's been the hardest day yet. It's not helping that I'm watching the Food Network and they just showed us deep fried candy bars at the fair.

So many candy bars... dipped in thick, delicious pancake-like batter, fried into crispy, melty chocolaty & nougaty bites of heaven. I wept as I made plans to attend the next state fair, in any state, as soon as possible.

With my period about to drop any minute, I couldn't have picked a worse time to give up sugar. And not just sugar, but all simple carbohydrates - anything & everything that *acts* like sugar in the body.

That reminds me - I saw a commercial tonight that I almost can't believe. A mother is serving cups of red punch to a bunch of kids and another mom tries to caution her about high fructose corn syrup being unhealthy.

The punch pusher cuts her off and says, "Oh, right, high fructose corn syrup? It's from corn, it's natural and just like sugar, it's fine in moderation." What the WHAT? Can you believe that shit?

Now the high fructose corn syrup lobby is trying to tell us that shit is OK? Early last year the Washington Post published an article about HFCS containing mercury! And HFCS is made from genetically-modified corn - even worse - and the Farm Bill subsidizes this shit!

The Corn Refiners Association - Cornholers - should be drawn & quartered then lovingly dipped into giant vats of HFCS and set out to dry in the sun to become candied meat bits for the vultures.

To quote one of my favorite nutrition info sources, Dr. Mercola:

"Food and beverage manufacturers began switching their sweeteners from sucrose (table sugar) to corn syrup in the 1970s when they discovered that HFCS was not only far cheaper to make, it’s also about 20 times sweeter than table sugar...

...The food and beverage industry doesn’t want you to realize how truly pervasive HFCS is in your diet -- not just from soft drinks and juices, but also in salad dressings and condiments and virtually every processed food. The introduction of HFCS into the Western diet in 1975 has been a multi-billion dollar boon for the corn industry."

Read Dr. Mercola's article on the devastating health hazards of high fructose corn syrup.

Just seeing this bullshit commercial strengthens my resolve to completely eliminate this crap from my diet. I may go back to eating sugar at some point, but it'll be sugar - it won't be this shit.

Shouldn't it be a crime to put profits before health, you fucktards at the Cornhole Refiners Association?

Up in the Ass

If you haven't seen the movie and plan to, stop reading - spoiler alert.

First, I loved the movie. Who doesn't love watching Clooney being Clooney? And Jason Bateman is always great - more Bateman please. I liked how they made flying seem like fun, even though it's really a giant pain in the ass.

I really loved Vera Farmiga's character, Alex. She's smart, sexy, funny, adventurous, uninhibited, confident, and on top of all that, gorgeous.

*** spoiler alert ***

Then we find out she's a lying whore. Of course. She would have to be. No woman could be all that and not also be tragically flawed. Thanks, Hollywood. Fucked me in the ass again.

I could feel it coming and hoped so much that I was wrong. I knew there wouldn't be a fairy tale ending for her and Ryan, but did we have to make the interesting female lead a cheating ho-bag?

David pointed out that it's almost always the man that turns out to be the philandering douchebag and he's right. I suppose it's fair to make the female lead the asshole, it's just disappointing.

The "good" girl is shrill, uptight, arrogant, asexual, ignorant and someone I would love to slap in the face. It's a bummer that the "cool" woman in the movie turns out to be a shit bag and the "good" girl is an irritating bitch.

I don't know how else it could have been written to make her ultimately unavailable to Ryan, the little boy lost, and to be fair, he never asked her about her situation. He either assumed she was single or wasn't interested in really knowing her - but that seems hollow when it comes time to go to his sister's wedding.

If you're just banging a guy between flights and then one day he asks you to go with him to his sister's wedding, that seems like the right time to say something like, "I don't want to be a downer, but you should know I'm married and I have fifteen kids."

At that moment, she, being the smart woman she is, should have realized they were not on the same page. And if she's not wearing a ring or slipping away to take phone calls in private, why would he ever imagine she could be married? She seems just like him but as she said, "with a vagina." He's got a fair position in assuming she was unattached. Naive maybe, but fair.

So not only do we get to see an interesting female character turn out to be an asshole, we get to see marriage treated like it usually is in the movies - the drudgery of real life, the thing that needs to be escaped. How original.

It was a good movie, but I don't think it was a "great" movie or the "best" movie. Up was far better, as was The Hurt Locker and Fantastic Mr. Fox. I'd even put The Hangover above it, just for Mike Tyson alone.

The best thing about it was the powerful but dark reality of getting canned and having to start all over, even if it's almost time to start planning to retire, and asking yourself "what am I doing with my life?" So, it's got that going for it, which is nice.

Day 2: Sugar-Caffeine-Booze-Free

And feeling great. Just avoiding simple sugars & booze for a full day helped drop a pound of water weight - that's impressive. It's amazing how your body bloats up when that shit is in your system.

Speaking of shit in the system, one friend of mine is trying to go vegan for the first two weeks of the year. Like my detox, she's doing it to see how she might feel after a couple of weeks.

I feel for her, since she's a dedicated athlete and will need plenty of high-grade protein to help her body recover from her workouts.

It sounds healthy in theory, but it's not natural. Our physiology is designed to use animal products. What they're not designed for is all the shit in our food supply, literally and otherwise.

One theory about going vegan/vegetarian is that it will somehow help save the environment. It's a noble thought, but I don't buy it.

That problem is way too big to be solved by going vegan. At any rate, I'm not about to stop eating good quality animal products thinking that will help save the environment. It's also not going to help my health.

The funny thing is, I've heard of some vegans eating at Taco Bell. They buy "food" from the largest fast food company that sells the shit found at KFC and Pizza Hut, among others. Ironic, no?

Anywho, to each his own, right? I need to go slaughter some bunnies now.

Happy New Year!

Is it? I don't feel all that happy. Could be last night's tequila - the current lack thereof - making me cranky. I don't feel hungover, just irritated.

Could be lack of sleep. We crashed early last night, 'cause normally *nothing* goes on in Alameda at midnight on New Year's Eve. WRONG.

For the first time ever, we were woken up at midnight by a loud racket of firecrackers, the clanging of pots & pans, noisemakers and whoops & hollers. I felt bad about being in bed, wondering when all the noise would stop. Maybe next year we'll join the party. Who knew?

But I also got a lot on my mind. I recently learned of the Bilderberg Group and I'm totally creeped out.

Nothing is known about the content of their annual, private meetings attended by our elected and/or appointed officials, financial & military leaders and the super-elite & super-wealthy.

A quote from one of the members:

"We are grateful to the Washington Post, The New York Times, Time Magazine and other great publications whose directors have attended our meetings and respected their promises of discretion for almost forty years. It would have been impossible for us to develop our plan for the world if we had been subjected to the lights of publicity during those years. But, the world is now more sophisticated and prepared to march towards a world government. The supranational sovereignty of an intellectual elite and world bankers is surely preferable to the national auto-determination practiced in past centuries."
-- David Rockefeller

So now I'm thinking, California needs to secede and become its own country with its own president elected by California citizens without any campaign financing of any kind other than a small stipend from a nominal tax fund.

All corporate donations/lobbyists are illegal and absolutely no policies are made without complete transparency and voter involvement.

We make marijuana totally legal and regulate it, tax it, and sell it to the rest of the world, along with the technologies we develop, Hollywood movies - whatever. There's a lot left to work out yet - it's still pretty early in the day.

I'm still happy about giving up sugar, booze & caffeine - it's a relief, really. It's easier when there's a good excuse - a New Year's resolution - otherwise people flip out. Why!? Why would you do that? What a stupid idea!

Yeah, you're right - striving for better health *is* a stupid idea - I'll feel so annoyingly good and the weight loss will be so lame. What was I thinking? Happy New Year.